When people talk about the zombie apocalypse they always have a foolproof plan. A plan so good that only them and their smart mind could come up with. Because they know their plan will work out with no imperfections. Because survival in a desolate world is second nature to them.
Because they've seen the movies.
Zombie movies and shows vary wildly. The virus breaks out from a burger gone bad or the government does it. Some have fast zombies, some slow. Some creations of this apocalypse are really good, bad, serious, or funny.
They always have so much in common, too. There's always a squad of people who meet up and learn to trust, always a cool character with a kickass weapon, always the dumb ones who deserve to die, and the ones we wish would.
Oh, and they all contain our favorite, loveable, flesh-eating monsters.
So, naturally, when I ask the same question at my lunch table my friends smile and gain an air of confidence. Of course these nerds have the detail down to the type of outfit they'll wear.
Need I forget, one of them wants their theme song to be 'Hollaback Girl'.
What have I done.
"We need to plan this out, for real," One of my friends named Gibby addresses. "Just in case this actually happens." I smile and roll my eyes ruefully because really? I've heard of people who will literally invest their money into prepping for doomsday. We are high school kids who only know how to nap after we get off the bus. It's hard enough to think a math problem without getting a headache let alone devising elaborate plans to secure a perimeter or even survive the first hours.
Whatever, I'll humor them. It's not like it isn't fun to talk about.
"Well, first we would have to have a grouping point. One place we can all make it to so we can gather and set off." Gibby's hazel eyes glimmered from behind her glasses, she's definitely thought this through. Her hands were moving around as she explained who would be who, where the best places to take refuge would be.
"Would we take anyone in? Like a straggler?" Fluffy asked from beside me. Everyone around the table wasn't surprised as they looked at her. She was always trying to do right by people and even now when I look into her soft brown eyes it was like there was someone who actually needed our help.
Gibby, as steel-nerved as she was laughed, "No! We look after our own and kill everyone else."
Fluffy looked back down at her fries, dejected.
Everyone started rambling off ideas, especially Sarah who watched 'The Walking Dead' like religion.
"Can I have a crossbow like Daryl?"
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Our next few lunches have interestingly enough, been about this plan. I didn't expect our attention span to hold onto this thought for more than a school day. Yet here we are, deciding who guards the weapons and food.
Kaylan spoke up, wiping her mouth on her grey hoodie before speaking. "What about sitting watch? Wouldn't we have to, like, write down when each of us like staying up and who can see the best at night?" Her mouth was immediately occupied by the school's sub par lasagna after voicing her thought. I listened in on the conversation, doodling subconsciously as they went on.
"That's a great point," Fluffy noted, scooting her own rectangle of meat and cheese around her tray. "You should write that down, Gibby."
I looked over, and of fucking course she had a notepad out, jotting down all these ideas.
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The Soundtrack is Badass
HorrorNow that's what I call a zombie apocalypse! Everyone has a plan for a zombie apocalypse. The problem is that everyone knows their plan is the best. So that bears the question: will you survive?