~Levi~
He's gone
The only thing I had left to live for
My best friend...
My companion
My lover.....
Dead, it's over now I'll never see him again, and it's my fault that he's gone.
"Levi." My head shot up and the last person I wanted to see was standing in my office.
"Mikasa, what are you doing in here?" My voice was barely audible I'm
Not sure it would even be classified as speaking.
"I need to talk to you.." She sat down in a chair across from me.
"About what?" I managed to sound a bit stronger but not much.
"Eren." I could tell she was holding back tears and the moment she said his name my heart stopped and I let out a choked sob. She reached over and grabbed my hand.
"Levi, straighten up..Get yourself together!" She was angry but I could hear the pain in her voice.
"What do you want me to do Mikasa pretend I didn't lose him pretend that my stupid little brat is still clumsily trying to clean everything just to impress me, pretend that he's gonna be next to me when I wake up.."
"God dammit Levi, you're not that only one that lost him!" She gripped my hand tighter a tear slipped down her cheek.
"I know that Mikasa, but shit...its been so long since I've fallen asleep without him by my side and now it's just..so cold, it's as if the whole world has frozen in place and I'm stuck in a state of never ending denial...I expect to wake up and see him smiling at me or have him in my arms..." I couldn't continue I held onto her hand and sobbed she let go of me and looked down.
"Listen to me Levi, he loved you so much he believed that it would save you the pain if he just allowed what happened...to happen..and what actually happened is that we all broke...Armin hasn't spoken in days...Erwin hasn't come out of his office...Hanji has been sobbing for hours on end..And Jean..holy shit he's almost as upset as he was when he lost Marco, he never told Eren how much he truly cared and God dammit he's so upset about it I have no idea what to do he won't talk to anyone..he's been drinking and c-cutting himself..I'm trying to be strong Levi I really fucking am but I'm not sure how much longer I can pretend..but honestly I'm mostly worried about you, you haven't left your office since his funeral Levi, without you the survey corps is nothing..I can tell you're practically drowning in your own agony..but we all have to get ourselves together Levi or else we will all die." I couldn't even speak now I was shaking I didn't think I would ever gain control over my body ever again. She stood up and walked around my desk wrapping her arms around me, normally I'd push her away but I didn't think I could I held onto her tightly sobbing into her shoulder.
"D-dammit, I can't fucking go on like this M-Mikasa.." I managed to choke out those few words as I continued to sob into my best friends shoulder.
"Please, don't hurt yourself Levi we can't afford to lose you too." Her grip on me loosened and she stood up.
"We'll make it, don't worry about it shorty.." A sad smile was on her face and she walked out of my office leaving me a crippled, sobbing mess on the floor.
Dammit Jaeger why'd you have to leave me...
