A doll's diary

Introduction

Dear Diary,

I want to be a doll. I know what you're thinking, 'this chick is nuts!!!' Okay maybe. But I wasn't born this way. They made me this way.

It all started back in 6th grade. I was a part of the popular crowd and had many 'friends' but my best friend was the one person I could count on. When we were alone. In public she was the worst friend ever and one day I finally had enough and called her a name.

I mean you can't blame me! She was awful! She made fun of me, she laughed when the guy who bullied me everyday said something about my weight and she always made me feel inferior.

We're cool now, but the point is, I was tired of conforming and not being myself. So after we stopped being friends I started reading and finding out who I am and what I'm like. Good right? Wrong. Who I really am is hated by most people.

I hate being different, but in words of Ralph, Wreck-it "There's no one I would rather be than me". Which is true overall. But my real problems are now.

Everyone hates me. I have 2 friends. I should be good with those two friends and stop complaining in most people's opinions'. But when you only have classes with people that hate you and not your friends that really hurts.

I'm getting ahead of myself. After figuring out that my friend was awful I became unpopular. It was hard without friends but I eventually acquired new ones. Let's call them Ivory and Fiona. Fiona and I had all our classes together in 6th grade so we got really close. (Not to mention we were also in the same 4th grade class)

Still friends at the beginning of this year(btw I will be so offended if you ask if I'm in 7th grade). I spent a pleasantish—uneventful—3 years with them and I get bored as frigg. And when I'm bored I tend to do stupid things, like for instance fall in love with Fiona's crush, who happens to be the boy who bullied me in sixth grade.

Now it wasn't magic, it happened because Fiona was to nervous to text him so she asked me to do it. Keep in mind this is the boy who made me cry a million times in sixth grade and a couple times in eighth grade. But like a good friend I text him.

He doesn't reply for a while so I expect him not to answer. I didn't give a rat's assets, but Fiona did so I kept checking. Finally he texts me and I give him a quick reply and expect nothing more. But then he texted me again and..
💥BOOM💥
We've texted from 5:00ish to 10:00pm. 'What in the Blue moon just happened' - my thoughts before bed.

The next few days he texts me and asks questions. I'm sure you can infer what kind of questions they were. Then...(only God know how it happened) we end up really freaking cuddled together...a lot. My ex bully. My best friends crush. Idek about Fiona at this point.

And on that fateful day. Two days before his birthday. I had my first proper kiss. You know the consented kind. Not like my previous experiences. And I have bad memories so kissing was never appealing, but oh my freaking gawd. It was so romantic.

We were suppose to help set up the dance but it was cancelled so I helped him carry our friends' stuff to them. The only problem was; where were they?. We stopped in front of our 4th period class think that they'd come with that teacher and we were really close and he put his arms around my waist. I put mine around his neck and laid my head by his neck.

He said, " I like giving you hugs."

That's made me smile and we turned our heads to look at each other and he kissed me! And for the first time I loved it. I'm currently craving another kiss from him. Fiona doesn't know. Duh.

I don't even feel a little bad. We've kissed on more occasions after that. I've fallen in love with him, but he treats me awfully. He was only nice when we're alone.

Now to catch you up to speed. Ivory hates me. Let's call him Hurricane. Hurricane avoids me and Fiona is horrible.