Everything feels so wrong and weird today.
I woke up early as usual. Today will be the 5th day I get back to work. How long was I out on vacation? One month and a week. Yes, I was forced to have my time off to extend. Mainly because of the issue regarding an EXO member named Park Chanyeol. People at work were very surprised to see me back especially Minkyung. She thought that I was never gonna come back for work. Minkyung went overseas to see her cousins--- or at at least that's what she told me that is why there were no signs of her during the scandal. But she did text and call me form time to time, asking me if I was alright and all...
Ever since I came back to work, I've never seen Chanyeol nor Kyungsoo again. Two weeks had passed since the... awkward incident. I've never called them again and neither did they. Eunji would tell me that Chanyeol would come from time to time and see Jaeyeol while I was at work. I don't have the courage to face either of them. I'm a bit embarrassed and I don't know how to react if they suddenly shows up at our door.
I was kissed by two EXO members two weeks ago.
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.
They are both making my life so confusing. Every passing minute, I would remember Chanyeol's lips on mine. There were unexplained feelings which makes me more than confused. I keep on remembering Kyungsoo's lips too. I feel so remorseful at him because I wasn't able to love him back. I've been crying at my life and it pains him to see me like this. Kyungsoo wanted to sacrifice again just to make me happy. I couldn't. I couldn't accept for what he has to offer. I don't want to hurt anyone. Kyungsoo is special to me. Hurting him is probably the last thing I'd do on Earth. But after what happened weeks ago, I wanted to harm myself for making him so melancholy.
When I got back to work, my co-workers were very mum about the issue. They know that I'm torn, but I do not show them that I'm vulnerable. Whenever we go out for lunch at the cafeteria, they brighten my mood. But soon, my mood drops down and I'd find myself contemplating my life for minutes.
Oh, right. I was still Myungsoo's personal secretary; that's what he wanted to call me. He'd drive me home every now and then if I don't bring my car with me. He's always making sure that I'm safe when I travel back home. He's such a great friend.
"And how is my best pal this morning?" Minkyung asks, entering my office. After she came back, I told her everything except for the thing about our breakup and... the kiss. I don't want to discuss it. There was no way I was going to tell anyone about that. Even Eunji doesn't know about that. I kept it all to myself. "Hello, Minkyung," I smiled and averted my gaze at her. She looked really adorable today with her floral dress. "I assume that Miss Kang Jiyeon is feeling all better?"
"Not quite, Min." I sighed.
She frowned, "Aww. Jiyeon, you better stop logging into your IG for a while. Don't read and believe their comments, dear. They are just envious of you because Chanyeol is always with you and Jaeyeol. Just... keep on smiling." she said and pinched my cheeks. I chuckled at her silly actions. "And what if I don't smile?"
"You'll have to buy me a bag and let me see Minseok." she winked. Ah, I forgot to tell you that she is a fan of Xiumin. Yes, that oldest member with a baby face; Minkyung likes him. "I think I'll keep on smiling." I grinned and looked at her with a smug, playful face. She slapped my arm lightly. "Yah, you're so baaaad."
"Hey, don't blame me. I haven't seen any EXO member yet aside from Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo." I told her while fixing the papers that were scattered on my table. Aish. Such a mess. "Eh? How come they are the only ones you have seen yet?"
"I don't go to their dorm and SM. Kyungsoo was and is my best friend, you know that. He comes to visit me sometimes. Chanyeol stops by our house to see and play with his son and as for Baekhyun, he accompanied Chanyeol to visit us. That's all."
