Bereaved

Three months before

"Five years."

"Really?!" Elle said surprised.

"Yep! Five years ago to this day we became best friends." I told her.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. The first day of 6th grade English class. We bonded over my..."

"Sea foam green marker." I interrupted.

This was the first time in a long time I saw a genuinely real smile on Elle's face. We just sat there in the grass and watched as the soothing wind whistled through the trees.
"May?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think we will be best friends five years from now?"

I answered with no hesitation, "Of course! We are going to be best friends forever and we're going to raise our kids together and we're going to grow old together."
Elle gave me one of her half smiles. I could tell it was a fake smile. When she smiles for real, she squints her eyes. It brings me joy when I see the small wrinkled skin on the outside corners of her eyes. When Elle smiles for real, she gets this little twinkle in her blue green eyes. I love that little twinkle. She is my best friend, so I obviously want the best for her.
Ever since Elle has been in this depression, I have felt like there is a gloomy grey cloud hovering over her. I imagine she feels the same way. When I think that she is in pain and can't be happy, it makes me feel like I have a grey cloud of my own, because I can't help.

Being outside in the familiar warm sunlight, made me think of all the summers we spent together. We danced through the grass as our ratty hair flew behind. The two of us walked through the woods picking wild flowers, while avoiding mosquitos. Those were much simpler times.