Title: Diary Entry
Day: 11
Date: April 27, 2016
By: Princess_Moon_Angel
Dear Diary, June 6, 1996
Why is it so easy to forget about exams and not life? To be honest, I fear that I don't exist to the place that birthed me.
Friends are something I wished cared about me. Physical Education class was terrible in general today. Not only did I suffer complete boredom on the bleachers because the coach was absent, but I had to suffer through the pain of abandonment by my "friends". I went to Gym to avoid being alone, but I ended up that way anyway.
Was it my fate to be so? Alone even among the very people who promised not to leave me?
Well, if it is my destiny to be left by myself, at least I will do so with my head held high. Insecurities and doubts plague my mind whenever I awake, but at least expectations won't be added to that depressing mix.
You can never expect from people lest you want to be disappointed. At the very least, you can only find disappointment in yourself rather than those you had regarded highly.
Losing my hope in people has become my life. One way or another, even if they promise to be my friend, or claim they are my friend, they always leave. Maybe not soon, but that makes it even worse, for I get too attached, rendering it even harder for me to let go.
A constant circle of loss, disappointment, heartache especially. There will always be something to weigh you down. But it will be your job to bear the burden a little better. You can choose to drown in the ocean with the weight tied tight, or you can continue to struggle to find air, regardless of the weight.
I choose the latter. Crushes and lost friends are not easy to get over. But you know what they say...
If they were meant to be in your life, they would've stayed anyways.
I guess that's all for today, my diary. Venting emotions to an inanimate object seems way easier than to an actual person. Maybe it's because you don't feel like you're being judged every time you pour out your thoughts.
But hey, that's just my opinion.
Love,
Kiki
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