HBK and HHH: A Series Of One-Shots

Gasoline

EDITED

As soon as Shawn walked in Hunter knew he was wasted. Alcohol was evident as he could smell it, but he couldn't tell if it was paired with drugs. His heart clenched as he watched Shawn stumble inside. The man he loved had an addiction, and it was messing up everything. It was messing up his career even more despite his injury, it was messing up his friendships, and it was ruining his relationship with Hunter.

Shawn was getting into fights with people backstage nearly weekly, and it was worse than ever before. Shawn wasn't always liked, but it was growing worse as he kept adding fuel to the fire. It was never known what kind of Shawn you were going to get. Sometimes he would be so angry and in everyones faces, other times he couldn't even function, and other time he just didn't care about anything or anything.

Hunter and others had tried to help him, and Hunter was still trying but he knew how hard it was. Shawn didn't want to be fixed, and that was the problem. He had known Shawn had problems, but he would refuse to talk about them. 

"Shawn," he sighed as he went to each for his stumbling boyfriend. Shawn moved out of his reach. "Shawn come on," Hunter was tired and didn't want to deal with it. It was extremely late after all.

"No," Shawn childishly replied as he moved out of the way again. 

"Shawn please. This is a problem and we have to deal with it, but right now you need sleep," Hunter realized that had set Shawn off. So it was going to be a "in your face" fucked up Shawn kind of night.

That comment alone seemed to sober Shawn up. "Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me? Have you Hunter?" Shawn backed him against the wall. "Have you bought so much liquor to drink, but most of it ends up down the drain? Have you ever used the water bill to dry the stain like me?" 

Hunter backed up further until he was completely pressed against the wall. The way Shawn was acting concerned him. He was acting more aggressive and angrier than usual. "Shawn please, that's  just the alcohol talking," Hunter pleaded as he was in denial afraid of this kind of Shawn.

When Shawn was angry, he normally attacked you, targeted things he knew about you, and issues going on. He never spoke in..riddles like he was now. Hunter didn't even know how to respond to it.

Shawn looked down and shook his head. He looked back up as his eyebrows furrowed. "Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me? Do you tear yourself up to entertain like me? I wreck my body for joy and entertainment Hunter, my life is fucked." Shawn growled as he put his hand through his hair in a frustrated motion. "Do the people whisper about you in the locker room like me. Saying you shouldn't waste your pretty face?" 

Hunters heart began to break as he realized this was no made up drunken rant, but how Shawn has been feeling for years. He had finally let his wall down. Hunter yelped in surprised as Shawn put his arms on the wall, Hunters head in between. His right knee was between Hunters legs. Shawn pressed his body to Hunters and kept eye contact. Hunter was too in shock and mesmerized to look away. 

"I can't wake up Hunter, this is not a dream. I'm part of the machine, I'm not a human being.  My happy life if made up on a screen. I'm low on self esteem so I'm wasting my life away on drugs and alcohol." 

Shawn pulled back from Hunter and leaned on the wall next to him as his head faced away from Hunter. Hunter grabbed his hand and whispered, "Shawn, I know your heart is gold." 

Shawn rolled his head back towards Hunter. Hunter noted the broken and defeated look in his once lively blue eyes. "Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Do you cause problems for amusement? Do you avoid yourself and your problems?" 

Shawn rolled back onto Hunter as he pressed their foreheads together and weaved his other hand into Hunters. He sighed in delight at Hunters minty breathe that was great compared to his that reeked of liquor. "I think there's a flaw in my code," he said barely above a whisper as he looked down at Hunters lips. "These voices won't leave me alone." his voice nearly lost as he leaned in and closed the gap between both him and Hunter.