Bio Recreation Of Randomness!!!!!!!

I'm Not Strong Anymore....

It's funny how every thinks I'm okay...

I wanna cut again.... I wanna hang myself again ... I wanna take all the pills I have.... I wanna die... I wanna end my strife again.... I wanna just roll over and die...

....The future that we both drew and all the shit we been through. Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew. How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you. Never was enough for you and the world was what I have you. I used to be lovestruck. Now I'm just fucked up. Pull up my sleeve and see the pattern of my cuts.... Grace hates me forever now...

I hate myself...

Why the fuck won't you guys let me die? Why the fuck am I living? Why the fuck do I hate myself? Why do I wanna die and stay alive? Why the fuck and I so confused D and don't know who the fuck I am?

I'll stay alive.... No!

I'll stay living and keep my heart beating.... But I won't be okay... I'll never be okay... It's not because of Grace.... It's not because of anybody.... It's because of myself... I hate myself... I'm still taking my fucking pills... Just not as much as I want... I still wanna cut... But I'll hold on till as long as I can... I still wanna hang myself like I've tried before... But I won't... Not until that point comes... I just won't be a happy person anymore.... I'll cry myself to sleep every night more than I have every single night for the past two fucking years!... I'm just... Lifeless now.... I'll be happy... But that'll just be a coverup.... Yes! I'll put on my fake smile everyday to cover up my fucked up self just like up there I did....

Okay! Let's face the facts!

I'm a fucking worthless, useless, fucked up in the head son of a bitch that'll never be loved, have any friends, never be able to do anything for the rest of her life. All I am is a whiny, needy, little emo bitch who cuts and punishes herself for no fucking reason so she can feel pain because she likes it! I'm a suicidal emo fag who belongs in a grave! Ill never be good enough for anything, cause I sure as hell wasn't good enough for my best friend.... This is how I feel about myself...

I feel like guns are to my head just shooting me constantly through my skull, there's knives everywhere in my skin and I'm in an enclosed glass box of my own thick blood and snake venom just being bit by snakes everywhere constantly!