Stage Gay (Brallon) ON HOLD

Three

I woke up in the morning with a jolt. I was sweating and breathing heavily. I looked over to my right to find that the bed was empty. I wasn't expecting Brendon to be there, and I was glad he wasn't. Although he's an asshole, sometimes he was caring, and I wouldn't want him asking me what was wrong.

I dreamt about him last night, and not in a sexual kind of way. Although I wish I had because waking up with a boner would have been a hell of a lot better than the feeling I had. I felt like I was about to be sick.

In my dream, Brendon and I had been at a park. Nobody else was around, and the sky was a light shade of gray. We were sitting on a bench that was on a trail of sorts, but we couldn't have walked it because I could see his car in a parking lot. It was late in the day, probably around dinner time. As Brendon and I were talking, the sky turned to a very dark shade of gray.

I remember Brendon saying something about it. What he said, I couldn't recall. But then, he somehow made a joke about me being gay. I have no idea how he was able to connect the color of the sky to my sexuality, the dialogue was a bit fuzzy in my memory. What's crystal clear, however, is me coming out to him.

I couldn't tell you why I came out, I just did. Once the information left my lips and reached his ears, his face twisted into an expression that's probably best described as angry and disgusted. He stood from the bench and started yelling. What he was saying, I don't know, but he sure as hell wasn't accepting.

Just as he took a breath and stopped yelling for a moment, heavy rain started falling from the dark sky. With disgust prominent in his voice, he looked me dead in the eye and told me I was out of the band and that he didn't want to see me again. Brendon then turned around and walked to his car. I remained seated on the bench as I watched him get into his car and speed away, leaving me in the poring rain.

That's when I woke up, and I was crying now. I knew that it was just a dream, but the fear of Brendon finding out and not accepting me was very real. Although my dream was probably an overreaction on his part, I couldn't deal with the thought of it being reality. I sat on the bead and took a few deep breaths in an effort to calm myself down. That wasn't really working, so I decided a hot shower would be best. I got up and walked over to the bathroom that was in the hotel room. I opened the door, and let's just say, so much for trying to calm down.

Standing there naked with water running down his toned chest was Brendon. I guess I didn't hear the water running when I was freaking out. I looked down and saw his dick. It was an accident, I didn't mean to look. It just happened.

"Like what you see?" He asked with such confidence in his voice.

"Shit," I muttered to myself as I panicked and slammed the door closed. I backed away from the door and sat on the bed again. I started shaking a little bit as I took deep breaths. I just saw Brendon naked. I looked at him and now he knows I'm gay. Shit shit shit.

I don't know how long I sat there probably overthinking a bit, but the next thing I know Brendon was standing in front of me. Thankfully, he was fully dressed.

"Dal, are you okay?" He asked me. There was that question that I didn't want him asking.

"I'm fine," I said quickly as I stood up and went into the bathroom. I closed and locked the door behind me. I was still crying, so he definitely knows I'm not okay.

I turned the shower on and took my pajamas off as I stepped in. The water didn't need time to warm up because Brendon had just been in there. Thinking about Brendon, in a sexual way or not, always seemed to fuck with my emotions. I was still trying to calm myself down from my dream and seeing Brendon naked.

I finished my shower and, thankfully, was able to calm down. I realized that I was probably overreacting and if I just kept my cool around Brendon he would forget about earlier in no time. I mean, he was so full of himself that he probably already forgot about seeing me shaking and almost crying.

With that thought in my mind, I got dressed and left the hotel. I didn't have anywhere particular to be, I just needed some fresh air. Once I was outside I started walking towards the park, but then decided that wouldn't be the best idea for today. I turned the other way and started walking in the other direction.

I was wandering around town, not really going anywhere in particular. I stopped in a local coffee shop and ordered myself a cup, then sat at a table by the windows. I spent about two hours just watching people go by. I saw a gay couple holding hands and kissing at one point, which made me feel like shit. I wish I could be as open as they were, with or without a relationship with Brendon.

I left the coffee shop eventually and started walking back to the hotel. It was mid afternoon at this point, and I decided I could just watch movies all day. As I was walking, I passed by a stand on the street corner that sold magazines and candy. Normally I would pay no attention, but a particular magazine cover caught my eye. It was a picture from last night. How they were able to print and stock them so quickly was beyond me, but it caused me to freeze. It was a picture of me and Brendon.

In the picture, Brendon's bare back was towards the camera and I was facing the camera. It must've been taken when Brendon knocked on my door, because I was in the doorway and he was still in the hall. The headline read: "Brendon Urie and Dallon Weekes, GAY??" Well, shit.

I bought the magazine and rushed back to the hotel. My nerves were kicking in, but this wasn't the first time rumors of us dating had surfaced, so it was no big deal, right? I mean, those few times had been because of Brendon's actions on stage and not because he showed up half naked to my hotel room, but I mean it was practically the same thing. I had nothing to worry about. Except I was worrying because they were not at all the same thing.

Once I was in my room, I sat on my bed and opened up the magazine. When I got to the page, the headline from the cover was repeated on the top. There was a column of text that went across half the page horizontally, and all the way to the bottom vertically. The other half of the page had the picture.

"Brendon Urie, frontman for the chart-topping band Panic! at the Disco, was seen last night outside of bass player Dallon Weekes' hotel room. Weekes let the shirtless Urie into the hotel room, and Urie wasn't seen leaving until the next morning. So boys, what went on in that hotel room?

Urie is known for being a ladies man, but also for acting flamboyantly on stage. His homosexual actions are often intended for Weekes, which seems suspicious. Are they hiding the fact that they're in a relationship? Only time will tell. Sorry ladies, your celebrity crush just may break your heart in the upcoming days."

What a load of shit. Even if Brendon and I were fucking, there's this new thing called being bisexual.

I tossed the magazine on the floor and laid down. I wonder how Brendon reacted to this. The rumors didn't bother me. Nobody cared about who I was, which is why nobody bothered me at the coffee shop or on the street. Nobody would put thought into my sexuality, they would all just focus on Brendon. I wasn't worried about that, either. Brendon loved any kind of attention and he could handle himself well.

With that in mind, I took a deep breath and picked up my laptop from the bedside table. I was completely relaxed for once and was enjoying the movie I was watching. About halfway through, I got a text from Brendon.

"We need to talk."