Unbearable

I sighed heavily as I leaned on the railings of my balcony, watching Ate Nica dancing with Evan Guillermo, the love of her life-and mine too.

Ngayon kasi ang engagement party nila. By the next two months, kasal na.

I smiled bitterly at the thought.

Ate Nica has always been labeled as perfect. Maganda, matalino, at mabait. Well, bonus nalang nga ang pagiging mayaman eh.

Bagay na bagay sila. A perfect man and a perfect woman together, equals a perfect ending.

A tear fell from my eye when Evan kissed her infront of the huge crowd. Naghiyawan ang mga tao.

Tumalikod na ako at umalis sa balkonahe ng kwarto ko.

I buried myself under the thick mattress of my bed while crying loudly.

Alam ko namang walang makakarinig sakin. Lahat paniguradong nasa garden at nagkakasiyahan. No one will ever know the hurt I am bringing for all these years.

Bakit ba kasi si Evan pa?

Napatigil ako sa pag-iyak nang makarinig ng tatlong katok.

"Anak, halina dun sa baba. Maraming naghahanap sa'yo."

I cleared my throat.

"Opo Ma! Susunod na."

As much as I just want to lock myself here all night, ayoko namang mag-alala sila Mama at isipin na may problema ako.

I just washed my face and headed downstairs.

And true to what mom said, marami ngang naghahanap sakin.

They all greeted me with a smile. Pero tanging tango lang ang sinasagot ko sa mga yun.

Umupo lang ako malapit sa pond habang pinagmamasdan ang paligid. Well truthfully, kay Evan lang naman talaga ako nakatingin.

My cheeks instantly burned when his gaze met mine.

Buti nalang medyo madilim dito sa pwesto ko kaya hindi niya naman siguro mahahalata na namumula ako.

Mas lalo akong namula nang bigla siyang ngumiti at naglakad papunta sakin.

His smile is heaven.

"Hi." He greeted with a smile.

"Hi." I answered back with a smile too.

"Enjoying the party?"

Umupo siya sa tabi ko at umakbay sakin, making me inhale his strong manly scent.

Stop, Evan! You're just making me fall deeper.

"Yeah."

I said while trying to remain my composure.

"Alam mo, matagal ko ng pinapangarap yung ganito."

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Sinundan ko ang tinitingnan niya.

In an instant, nawala ang kilig na nararamdaman ko at napalitan ng insecurity.

Si Ate.

"We will be married. Then have kids. Tapos tatanda ng magkasama."

I forced my tears back.

"Ikaw ba? Anong gusto mo para sa future mo?"

Napaiwas ako ng tingin nang bigla siyang tumingin sa akin.

Ikaw, Evan. Ikaw lang ang gusto ko.

"Maybe I will have a boring life. Wala akong plano eh."