Safe and Sound

Leave It All Behind

I lie in the bed facing the wall underneath flannel sheets. Ezra thinks I'm asleep, but I'm wide awake. I stare at the wall and listen in on the conversation he's having with my friends.
"We can't just sit here and let her deteriorate, Spencer!" I hear Ezra warn. "We have to do something. She's going backwards. And I'm not gonna just sit here and--"
"Ezra, none of us want Aria to go back to the way she was" I hear Emily chime in. "Not like when she was in Radley, but we're all on board now. So we all should be able to keep an eye on her. No more secrets".
"It's not Spencer's fault that you didn't know, Emily. I asked her to keep it a secret. I went to her in confidence only because she had the same experience as Aria". Ezra breathes heavily, letting out a huge groan. "I just don't know what to do. I am just... I'm scared for her. She took a life. And she's not even reacting to it. How do you kill someone and not..."
After about ten minutes of silence, I finally sit up and look at Ezra. He's on the couch with his face buried in his hands. Emily is leaned over with her hand on his back. And Spencer is sitting across from him with her hand supporting the side of her head. I scoot off the bed and walk slowly towards them. "Ezra", I start, "Can I talk to you?"
"Of course, babe", Ezra answers while sniffling. "What's on your mind?"
I look at my friends. "Can you guys excuse us for a minute?"
Spencer and Emily look to Ezra, as if searching his face for approval. "It's fine. You guys can come back and we'll just finish later. I need to talk to Aria".
My friends shoot me a look and exit the apartment. I sit next to Ezra and look him in the eye. "Why were you talking to my friends about me? You were interrogating them about, what? My psychotic history?"
"Aria, stop. I'm worried about you".
"For what?"
"Because you just killed someone and you're walking around with blood on your hands like it'a trophy or something!"
I look at Ezra with surprise. "Keep your voice down. Do you want me to be three-oh-twoed?!"
Ezra looks at me with his hand on his side, biting his lip. He looks down and takes my hand. "Aria, please. Let's go talk to Dr. Sullivan. She can help you".
"Help me do what, Ezra? Realize my mistake before it's too late?" I stand up and walk to the kitchen, leaning over the sink. "What's done is done. Dr. Sullivan can't bring Meredith back from the dead. And it's not like I'd want her too anyway".
"Then we leave. Tonight".
I turn around to a standing, red-eyed Ezra. "What?"
"Pack. We're leaving tonight".
"No, Ezra. What about my family. My friends. School. I can't leave. Not in the blink of an eye".
"I'm not going to lose you again, Aria. What have I always told you?"
I shake my head and look to the side with a furrowed eye brow as Ezra walks towards me. "I know, I know. My love is worth fighting for. Well, maybe you shouldn't fight anymore. Maybe I'm not worth you risking your job and your life and your family anymore. You almost died. Maybe I should rot. I'm a killer, Ezra. Is that someone worth fighting for?!"
Ezra grabs me and kisses my lips. He grabs my face and looks at me sternly. "You absolutely are".