see you next week

chapter 1 the letter

Louis's pov

i couldn't believe it. why would harry want to take his own life. did he not know the phrase " live while we're young!" for god sake we sang that song and here he is taking his life at a young age. i remembered Liam giving me the paper so i decided to read it. opening the page i started

Dear Louis,

If you're reading this then i guess im dead which i better be or else i'll try and try again. well lets get to the point here. I love you. yes as in Love love not like friendly more like soul mate. i couldn't bare watching you and Eleanor all day cuddling and kissing. no one knew i loved you except for mum

when you said that you were going to be engaged to Eleanor i cried myself to sleep knowing i had no chance. then i told you guys i was going to go visit my mum but actually tried to kill myself and didn't succeed. my mum found me and took me to the hospital. i begged her not to tell you guys and I'm thankful she didn't.

tell niall that even though i'm dead ( which i better be) that he shouldn't stop being the energetic boy he is. don't stop eating don't stop sleeping and definitely don't stop breathing. guess what Ni you're the puppy of the group now. you're the youngest now and i don't want you to stop one direction either i was a horrible singer anyways he he. nandos forever right?

liam don't stop being daddy direction and now you're second youngest happy!!! don't stop being bossy or eating, sleeping, breathing. no you will live out and have kids and die old not young like me. keep the boys in check and keep your self in check too. keep sofia too eh i perfered danielle. but what am i going to fo?

zayn don't bottle up your emotions and cry. cry if you want don't hurt yourself and think this is your fault of you could have helped because no matter what you couldn't have helped me. stay vain Zayn and stay with Perrie  p.s. i saw that engagement ring. so if you mess anything up i swear i will come back from the dead to kick your arse. love you x 

and finally Louis i love you i love you i love you and this isn't your fault it's mine. if i had never fell in love with you then maybe this wouldn't have happened so don't go around saying it is all your fault because remember that i did this to myself. every kiss hug cuddle you and Eleanor shared killed me inside. i cut ,i overdosed on pills, i starved, i was bulimic ,and i was dead most of all dead. i hope i am now because i don't want to go through the pain of what would happen if i woke up. so lou find me alive i don't care if you're selfish let me die...

i have a picture of a 2010 pic and 2013 lads. this is what happened and i cant believe you didn't notice how skinny i became or my cuts really. but lads it is not your fault it's mine

~ love your Hazza xx

February 1st, 1994 to August 8, 2013 may i rest in peace

p.s. tell the fans sorry