Sometimes I Hate Myself

The Uninvited Guest

Chapter One

The Uninvited Guest

"I hate it here with a passion" I say, muttering under my breath as I unlock the door to my rundown apartment. While looking around the hallway, I fumble with the keys for a second and they slip out of my hands. I reach down tentatively and pick them up trying not to make any noise. Although in my apartment complex, noise is unavoidable.

In my mind, I know that many people say that hate is a strong emotion and that it shouldn't be used; however, it is the only emotion that I know that can describe what I'm feeling at this particular moment. Well I say fuck society and all its boring and pointless rules.

When I walk into my room I drop my belongings by the entrance, not caring where they land or if they get damaged. I thrust myself at my bed and practically miss my bed entirely. Thinking about today's events has me disoriented and has me "hating" the world. 

As I spread myself out on my bed, I cautiously look down towards my feet and frown; my feet are hanging freely over the edge. And while I know that I should buy a new bed. All that my mind can process is where am I supposed to get the money from? I already work two part-time jobs. Can I even get another job in this economy?

While pondering all the pros and cons of getting another job I hear a knock at my door. Instead of opening the door, I turn to my side and try to ignore the nagging feeling inside my head. “It’s him,” my mind screams, “I just know it”.

My head starts to pound as the knocks become more insistent. I well know that I am safe inside of my room and that no one can hurt me in here. However, just knowing that he can potentially be out there scares me to death. When my mind thinks about him, my blood starts to boil underneath my skin.

Although I was never capable of leaving him, my friends and family could never forgive me for letting the relationship go on as it did.

"Kylie open this door now!" he roared from outside. "If you don't come and open this door right now I'll kick it down, whatever means necessary". As I rushed towards the door I heard it groaning under Lucas' weight. "I'm coming please don't break it down Lucas", I said practically sprinting towards the door.

"And now why did you take so long to answer the door Kylie? Is there another man in the apartment that I should know about?" Lucas said fuming. 

"No there isn't you can even take a look around if you'd like". "It's only me and you babe," I stated as a matter of fact.

"Now you better not be lying to me Kylie or else..." Lucas said with a grin that I most despised.

“I’m not Lucas I swear,” I say trying to calm his nerves and as he is finally starting to back down another person knocks at my door.

“Hey Kylie it’s me Ezra. I came earlier but no one was home. I was wondering-”… but he never got to finish his sentence because Lucas opened the door and stared him down.