To Escape

PROLOGUE

There are certain people that we meet that make us gay. The types of people you really want to be with because all of the negativity in you goes away.

We depend on that person to give us happiness that we can't give ourselves, we hold on to them knowing that they will give you happy thoughts, advises and ideas that you couldn't give yourself.

It's now a win-win situation. Every person is good at something. Good a hiding, good at showing; while i'm good on doing the both of them.

I give you my happy thoughts, my advises, my ideas and such. I help you cure the pain inside you and push all the negativity away; I help you everyday, every night. I'm good at showing and giving you that.

How silly it is that i'm also good at hiding; because if this was a hide n seek game, i'd surely win.  I'm so good at not crying when i wanted to, so good at faking a smile when I wanted to break down so good at helping you when i can't even help myself. How funny that is; How can you even help others when you can't even help yourself?

How can the pain go away, can you tell me? I've tried sleeping, but the tiredness I feel can never be cured by a sleep. Tell me reasons please, I ought to know; I need more choices because killing myself is the only choice left.

Mom, Dad, give me a reason to live. Please.

All I want is to escape. Escape this world, escape the people suffocating me. I'm a liar, a stranger to my own self. Tell me, please what should I do.

Maybe, i'll just keep pretending? Pretend that i'm the girl surrounded by sunshines and rainbows. The girl who would never ever frown, the girl who never once cried; the girl that was so good at pretending.

Of course, who would ever want to know the real Leila Collins? That would be an awful revelation! I've decided, i'll just fake this whole thing up. No one will never know, right?