Dear X,
I have been dreaming about you lately, and I don't know why! I always say that I don't have any special feeling for you anymore. It's been 4 years that we don't have any communication. It's already been 3 years since we had separate love story. I'm asking myself do I still care for you, do I still love you? Why the face that I always see is yours instead of my present BF, Y.? Maybe because since you're my X, you still have a value to me. Or maybe because I still don't forgive you for being cold to me before. Or maybe because I regret that I have loved you so much before. Or maybe the opposite, that I still love you and I miss everything about us! Or because I still believe that first love never die. I don't know. If ever I saw you again, if there will be chance that our journey cross again, If only, I will ask so many question to you. I just want to clear everything. A year after our break up you showed up and telling me to break up to my present boyfriend and then telling me all the promises I made to you. I thought you don't care about me at all, you've been cold to me. I have so many letters for you. But I never send it because it will be harder for me if you ignored it again. My messages, my call you never answered once. My birthday, Christ-mass, New Year, anniversary and either our monthsary you never showed up even just to say hi. It was really hard for me to move on every night I cry, every morning I pray that one day you will realize that you love me to. But the thing is it was too late .When you knew that I had a new boyfriend, you came to me and tell those words that I want to here from you before we broke up. telling me that you love me so much, stay with you, you don't want me to go, that you need me. I have waited for you , for one year, but You never show that you love me. And just when I had love another man you came to say that i must choose you.? Even it's the past the last word that you said to me is still in my head " I will love you forever". Those words still bothering me until now. I heard you had a girlfriend, but it didn't last long, We last three years, but your relationship with her only last less than a year.
Now I know the reason why I dream of you, It's because I want to settle everything, maybe your still hurt because of what I said "No i wont go with you, you are still in my heart. The memories that we had will always be a part of me. And my love and care for you is always ready if only we have another chance. " that's the word I said the last time you ask me to be with you! And they keep ringing in my head. But I must say that I Love Y, I love him so much and he makes me happy, he understand everything about me, he love me and I can feel it, the love that I was longing and seeking to you was fulfilled by him so now I imagine of having happy family with him. So please forget everything that I have promised. I will not be able to fulfill all those promises any more. I hope and pray that you will find your true love someday a girl that will make you happy, a girl that will love, understand and will never leave you no matter what.
Sincerely yours,
X
