"Ugh." I yelled as I smash my alarm clocks buttons trying to get it to shut up. Today was to be my first day of my sophomore year! Yay!
Fuck my life!
I slowly roll out of bed savoring its softness before falling on to the floor with a loud thud. "Are you okay sweetie?" my mom yelled from downstairs. while cooking breakfast bacon and eggs, or should say bacon and puke. I take a quick shower, and get dressed. Just the usual outfit, some ripped black skinny jeans, my gray My Chemical Romance t-shirt (By the way, a good band), a pair of black converse, and my gray beanie. As you can see, I don't wear a lot of colors.
I brushed my teeth quickly, put some deodorant on, and made sure my hair wasn't sticking up in every direction possible. It was but, eh. I ran downstairs and gave my little sister Caroline a kiss before grabbing a piece of toast and bursting through the front door and running to the bus stop only to see the bus leaving. Great....
After a 5 mile sprint, being late to first period, and getting chewed out by Mr. Chummeer, I now sat in the middle of 2 period totally and completely lost. I've never hated geometry so much in my life. They made shapes hard! While Mrs. Parnell went on and on about triangles or something along those lines, i just drew for the rest of the period.
At lunchtime I sat with my best friends from first grade, Sam, Beth, and JJ. I sat in between Sam and JJ, as JJ put her arm around me. It's kinda our thing, I guess? Everything was going just fine until i heard someone yell "you're a fag carter!", and the entire cafeteria burst into laughter. Great... this day just keeps getting better and better! Just ignore them, just ignore them, just ignore them.... you know, as many times as i've said that, it never seems to work. I mean, it's only someone fucking my life over, no biggy, i'll just ignore it!
The rest of my Day went pretty much like that. I got pushed in the hall and dropped all of my stuff, lost my homework, got in a fight and had the ever living shit beat out of me, and then had to walk home with a black eye and busted lip. I got so many bad looks from people passing by on the street, some cop even stopped me at an intersection.
As soon as I got home, I immediately went to my room and flopped down face first. "Oh how I've missed you." I breathe out with a relieved sigh. I pretty much stayed there for what felt like hours reading, playing video games, and talking to friends. I went down for dinner and when i finished, I went up to my room and started my "Project"
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It was late, around 11pm, and my mom and my little sister were in bed. I set up my camera with a heavy heart, made sure everything was working fine, then I pressed play and began speaking :
"Hello, my name is Carter Coleman, and I've come to the decision to end my life..."
There was a small pause as I composed myself. Tears filling my eyelids, daring to fall. I let out a long sigh full of all my regret and anguish. The silence that befalls the room is almost deafening and after a minute or two the only sound that can be heard is my sobbing. I was so terrified about doing this but I knew I had to. There was nothing left for me on this earth...
After about an hour I tried again, at midnight. "Sorry about that. I know what you're probably thinking. Why would he do this? He had such a great life and such great friends. While yes, I do have great friends, I hate my life! It is terrible I was bullied constantly since first grade. First graders are fucking evil man! Every day I had fight for the piece of shit life I have now, I also met my best friends in first grade, Sam, JJ, and Beth.
