I got back to the villa and Jake was already gone, back to London for a few days. In a way I was annoyed that all of a sudden he was gone. He’d certainly been supportive of my life decisions of late, and now that I was really going to give saving the perfumerie a chance I sort of needed someone to conspire with. At the same time though, it was nice to have some time to myself to figure everything out.
I wandered into the kitchen but immediately backed out again. I had no appetite after every thing that had already happened that morning and all of a sudden I just felt really, really tired.
Even though it wasn’t even ten in the morning yet I made my way upstairs and collapsed into bed, falling asleep within minutes.
It was a peaceful, dreamless sleep, and I only woke up hours later because the sun was blazing through the window and I was really hot. Sighing I got up and pulled the blinds shut, slipping back into bed and staring at the ceiling. I could not quite believe that I’d ended things with Michael like that. Or that I’d been involved with him in the first place. He was never home and he was really kind of boring. What had I been thinking?
Oh right, my Mom. I was trying to please her.
“Ughhh!” I groaned, slamming my arm on the bed next to me. I knew I needed to speak to my mother before things got out of hand and she heard about my split from someone else, but I was also dreaded the conversation.
Biting the bullet I climbed back out of bed and dragged myself downstairs to find my phone. It was lying on the kitchen counter, no messages waiting for me. Relieved that maybe she didn’t know yet because of the time change, I dialed my mother’s number.
“Lauren, it’s not time for a check-in call,” my mother said, not bothering with a salutation.
“I know.”
“What’s going on? Why are you calling?”
“I wanted you to hear it from me before it blew up,” I said vaguely.
“Hear what?”
“I’m not marrying Michael.”
“You’re not…” My mother started, only to stop, “Lauren Margaret…”
“I ended things with him this morning. I’m staying in France,” I added.
“Have you completely lost your mind?!” my Mother screeched. I held the phone away from my ear for a minute as I heard her ranting on the other end. I knew this would be a big blow to her. She’d spent so much time and money on getting the wedding together already and she was relying on my marriage to boost the family image in her social circle.
“He was going to have to postpone the wedding for a work thing,” I said, “And I think that’s stupid. He clearly doesn’t love me if he’s willing to do that. I’m not going through with it. I can’t do that to myself, I need to marry someone I love.”
“Lauren this has nothing to do with love.”
“You’re wrong,” I told her, willing myself to be strong and set my mother straight. It was time I stood up to her and put my foot down about this whole life I was leading. My mother wasn’t in charge of me anymore. “Marriage has everything to do with love. That fact that you’re pledging your life to someone else means everything. How can you be happy and successful and make things work if you don’t love each other?”
“Lauren we both know…” my Mother started, but I cut her off.
“We both know nothing,” I told her, “Nothing about love makes sense.”
“Lauren…”
“Being in France reminded me what it feels like to live. To be…” I continued, stopping because I didn’t quite know how to finish my thought.
