You again? (BTS Rapmon ff)

~14~

A/N: Try listening to Run ballad mix while reading this chapter.

Namjoon's POV

'This can't be happening. It can't be true. It's just my biggest fear that has come to haunt me as a nightmare and when I open my eyes everything will be exactly the way they were yesterday.' I kept repeating these words in my head hoping for a miracle to happen.

I kept blaming myself. If I had returned a few minutes earlier, if I had answered the phone right away, if I... if I had run a little faster after receiving Minah's call, Haru wouldn't be lying on that bed right now.

It hurts. It hurts so bad seeing her in this state.

She... she's not smiling. Her eyes that always look at me with admiration, they're not open. She remains silent every time I call her name.

This wasn't supposed to happen, her health was only improving the last few months. Jin hyung wasn't expecting this either...

Yet here we are, Haru's small body lying lifeless on a hospital bed while I sit still by her side. Even though I'm alive, I can't feel my heart beating and my eyes have run dry from all the tears I've cried for the last hours.

After the countless times I've desperately called for Haru to open her eyes and look at me my throat feels sore. Except for my voice calling her name every once in a few minutes the only sounds filling the cold room are her slow but steady breathing and the beeping sound of the machine that's now the only thing keeping her alive. Keeping her with me.

-Flashback-

I checked the time on my watch only to realize I was already late. My bike suddenly broke down as I was on my way back home where Minah and Haru were waiting for me.

I took out my phone to call them and inform I was going to be a little late but after seeing all the missed calls from Minah my heart dropped in fear of something bad happening.

"NAMJOON! Please, please hurry and come home" Minah said, panic evident in her voice.

"Minah calm down! Tell me what is going on" I said trying to sound calm myself when I was about to go crazy just at the thought of something happening to either Haru or Minah.

I waited for her answer as I started running holding my bike next to me since it would be too dangerous to try and ride it. After what seemed like hours Minah took a deep breath before speaking.

"It's Haru, Namjoon. She... she collapsed suddenly" she said making me stop in my tracks for a second.

I panicked. I threw the bike away and started running. I don't remember if I even ended the call with Minah. I just ran and ran only thinking about arriving home. I had to be next to Haru that moment, I had to help her. Just like I always have.

However, it wasn't enough. No matter how fast I ran, I didn't make it there on time.

When I saw Jin hyung carrying my little sister's body I felt like a thousand needles pierced through my heart in a mere second.

I stepped closer, feeling lost. My knees became weaker to the point they could no longer keep me standing. My eyes followed hyung who was hastily leading Haru in the ambulance as he was giving instructions to the paramedics. But I couldn't listen to anything. It was like I suddenly turned deaf.

I would have fallen down if Minah didn't support me. She held me tightly before my knees could meet the hot cement of the street.

The fact that I could feel her touch was what actually made me break down in tears. Because that was when I realized all this was not a bad dream. It was real.

"It's going to be okay. She's stronger than both of us, Namjoon" Minah whispered as she tenderly stroked my hair and ran her hand over my back in an attempt to calm me down. "Haru is going to be okay"

-End of flashback-

I want to believe this too but every minute that passes without her giving a sign, is slowly killing my hopes.

I haven't seen anyone in hours. I lost control of myself and started blaming everyone. I was cursing at Jin for not realizing earlier that there was still a possibility for Haru's heart to stop. I rejected Minah's comfort. I yelled at Yoongi hyung after he said that we had to be prepared for the worst case scenario. He was only repeating Jin's words after the surgery but I couldn't bear listening to him.

I stood up eventually, heading out of the hospital room for a couple of moments. I needed to breathe the fresh air. Haru would be sad if she woke up and saw me in the state I was.

I exited the room and found Yoongi hyung sitting with his eyes closed at the waiting area. Feeling the need to apologize I approached him and sat next to him managing to get his attention in the process.

"I... I'm sorry for earlier, hyung. I wasn't thinking straight" I said using the remaining amount of energy I had left to put my thoughts in words and just hoped that he understood me.

"I know Namjoon. I'll forgive you" he said and patted my back with his hand. "We have to stay strong. For Haru"

I buried my face in my hands allowing the tears to run down freely as I started crying again. Silently.

A/N

Annyeong~

You've watched the new M/V right??? They've set every ARMY on fire and we just wanna run, run, run!! Guys, I need u to save me!! The whole special album is dope!!

P.S: Would you like it if my next book was a Jimin ff? Let me know in the comments :)