Random Thoughts N Stuff

Why..

Why do people tell you they love you????
Its clearly meaningless when there is no feeling...
Don't tell it so many times that those three "special" words lose their meaning that when someone actually does mean it, I'm too numb to it and its nothing but words... that can change very fast...

Why is it that the people that you love can instantly make your day go bad?? With just a few words.....
Why can't people realize that I need time and to just be alone... its not like they understand me???
Why do people enjoy making the people with the most smiles cry???
Why do we listen to sad songs the most even when it doesn't seem like we are people who would beacuse we are just so joyful??
Why do we never stay in one place but wander around every circle of friends like nomads... Its like we know its our time to go??.
We are irregular puzzle pieces that can never ever fit into a puzzle, we weren't made for that and we realize this... But we can fit into any puzzle and that is what we sometimes choose to do even when we know that we would have to leave , even if we are allowed to stay and we hurt ourselves..
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Because of what?
Why do we hurt ourselves?
But thinking about it makes it worse..
And...
And when we have found someone, a friend that understands us, and whom we understand or at least try to because we want to make sure what has happened to us won't happen to them we.. we just want to cling onto them tightly but we don't want to be a parasite and that's why we never hold them although it may seem like that.. we let them be free because we know first hand how relationships can be so restricting and suffocating.....
We let them go......
When they make a new friend ....
We slowly distance ourselves.. so that we are not the only friend that person is close to. So that they are happy.....
I am repulsed by myself so much I don't know what to say... Why am I like a loyal dog that will gladly sacrifice myself exspecially if I'm allowed to do so.... and do all the work myself even when that voice in my head says I shouldn't... I do that once a person is my friend even though she has hurt me.....
When I say we, I mean me...
Why do I even care???
Why do I do this to myself??? Why am I such a sadistic creature ...
Do I find peace in pain???
Is it because I know that that is the one thing that one can be sure of, instead of the fleeting thing called love...
An evanescent shadow.....
How can we know people aren't lying to us????
Listen to diaura moratorim with english subtitles the you will lnow that I can even betray myself...