tomorrow [beckiani]

Tomorrow

Tomorrow would be the start of a whole new life. Of press junkets and flashbulbs and crowded stadiums. Of scrutiny and speculation and prying questions. Of studios and contracts and a farewell to autonomy.

Tomorrow would start the endless stream of interviews, hands to shake, people to impress. Of always having to say the right words, wear the right clothes, to smile no matter if you feel like the world has just walked right all over you.

Tomorrow would start the long stretches of separation from the places and people (or is it people and places?) you consider home, maybe a phone call or a text or two, here's your hat what's your hurry, have fun living your new life, don't forget about the rest of us, okay?

Tomorrow one name would be called, and that will be the once-upon-a-time of a whole new story.

But that tomorrow hasn't happened yet.

And right now as Clark lies awake in the middle of the night in Nick's arms, only sweat and skin and muscle separating their forms, thoughts are rushing through his head that he will tell no one.

Thoughts about how he feels he's been breathing someone else's dreams this whole time, but now they've rushed out to leave him with his own breath and his own reality, leaving him wide awake while the rest of the world keeps dreaming.

Thoughts about how promises should last forever and maybe they will and maybe they won't, but at least they're real while they last.

Thoughts about how he wants nothing more right now than to weave his fingers into Nick's, which is exactly what he does...

"Mm." There's a light noise between a murmur and a grunt and Nick's eyes slowly open. "Go to sleep, beb," he whispers.

"Don't you mean go back to sleep?"

Head barely shakes. "Nah, I know you. Wheels always turnin'."

Clark knows he can't lie his way out of that. "We could make love again and that'd slow 'em down," he winks. Anything as a distraction.

Nick chuckles and nuzzles in the crook of the young man's neck, just the way the both of them like. "My little barrel of surprises..."

Tomorrow Clark will ask Nick if he's ever felt surreal in the middle of the night, as if he's the only one actually breathing while the world stays still and quiet, if he's ever had a restless mind full of possibilities not acted on out of wondrous awe. But that tomorrow hasn't happened yet.

Right now is only fingers linked and sleep-dazed kisses and thoughts filled of him and them...