Life is a Journey (a theyna fanfic)

Closets are dark

Thalia awoke to the soft humming of hospital machines. There was a blinding, artificial light above her face, and she was covered head to toe in bandages. She could barely see, and her entire world was spinning. She let out a soft groan of pain and closed her eyes, exhaustion plain on her face. Then, memories, cold and harsh, slapped across her face and Thalia's eyes flew open.

"Luke!" she screamed, flying into a sit up position, only to have her vision wash black. Thalia gasped for air, coldness splashing around her and her stomach shivered. The girl's vision danced in and out of the blackness as pain laced up her spine. Then, there were arms around her, a voice she couldn't understand in her ear, but it felt familiar. That voice, it was home. The voice was murmuring words the girl couldn't understand, but Thalia relaxed into the arms that held her, knowing the arms belonged to the voice. She was safe, she was sure of it, as long as those arms held her she was safe. The blackness rushed up to take her again. 

The next time she awoke the arms were gone, and so was the uncomfortable light. It was dark this time, and Thalia slowly opened her eyes, only to have the memories come rushing back as soon as she did. Pain that was no longer being inflicted rushed up her spine and a sob came between Thalia's lips. Agony, pure agony was racing around her, along with his voice.

"Worthless!" it yelled, "goddamn it! You little whore! Disgusting! I can't believe you even have friends!" Thalia could feel the world shaking around her, shattering, breaking apart. Then the arms were there again, gently pulling her close to a familiar warmth. The voice, coming to chase away that of the boy's. Warm, and gentle.

"I've got you, I promise," the voice whispered and Thalia felt the tears slipping and she gently nestled her head in the voice's chest. There was a soft chuckle, then they gently lifted Thalia's face. "Come on buddy, You're going to be okay," the girl promised. Two eyes like those of the embers of a fire glowed softly at her.

"Reyna," Thalia managed to murmur. Her own voice sounded hoarse and empty, like she had none of it left. She coughed after the word as if speaking it was poison in her throat.

"You scared the hell out of me," the other girl said gently and leaned down to rest her forehead upon Thalia's. Thalia just stared into those deep dark eyes. Reyna's smile slowly melted away to be replaced by a look of pure sorrow, and pain. A single tear slipped down her cheek.

"Th-thalia," she whispered, and guilt twisted the stomach of Thalia, like a dying snake. "Why?" Reyna asked and Thalia closed her eyes, not wanting to answer the question. Not just because it defeated the entire purpose, but also because she was ashamed. Ashamed of what the answer was, and how pitiful of an excuse it was. No, there was no excuse to what she had let that man do to her. None and Reyna knew that, but still she looked so hurt, so worried so... Thalia didn't know what to call it. 

"Please," Reyna begged gently and lifted her face with her hand. Their eyes met and Thalia could feel the tears threatening to spill down her face. No, she'd done enough crying, she needed to snap out of it and get her shit together. She wasn't some creature to be defeated so easily. How many times had she told herself that? A hundred? A thousand? Whenever she'd had too much of him. This time, however, she couldn't even pretend to believe it, and she closed her eyes.

"Because I'm an idiot, and I was scared," she whispered, that was part of it, but nearly the whole truth. Reyna didn't buy it though, she was too smart for that. Reyna lay a hand on her shoulder, trying to meet her eyes, no matter how much Thalia attempted to avoid them.

"You and I both know It was more than that. Thalia, please. I won't be mad, I promise." she assured and Thalia swallowed the butterflies dancing in the pit of her stomach, not really the appropriate time. She didn't want to speak, she desperately didn't want to say a thing about her motives, but those dark eyes of her friends pried it out of her. 

"I-I was an idiot," she repeated and lowered her face, unable to meet her eyes. "I met Luke, we had been friends when we were younger, I didn't think he would've become so... evil. He knew most of my secrets, but he knew one of them I really didn't want to be shared. So, of course, he threatened to if I didn't cooperate. And I did because I was a stupid, naive little girl. Then, it started to get really bad, and at that point, I didn't care anymore, I was going to stop him, get rid of him. I had enough, but... but then he threatened to hurt you if I didn't stay... so I did. Oh gods, why am I so stupid," Thalia whispered and hid her face in hands, expecting Reyna to be at least a little angry. All of this, this stupid pain and torture over a stupid secret that she was pretty sure half the world had already figured out. Instead, Thalia was met with a warm embrace and gentle hands playing with her hair. Thalia rolled over and buried her face in Reyna's shoulder.

"You're not an idiot," Reyna promised and Thalia suppressed the urge to protest. There was no point in arguing with Reyna, even if you knew she was wrong, she would still win. "Look, I know all about keeping secrets for no apparent reason, and feeling bad when people figure it out. Even if it's kinda obvious. I've spent our entire adult lives running from a secret half the world already knows, just because I'm scared of admitting it to myself." the taller girl whispered in Thalia's eyes widened. She looked up at Reyna, the other girl's dark eyes glittering in the dim light.

"D-Do you mean...?" she asked and Reyna smiled sadly.

"I think we've both been running from this for too long," she answered and took her hand, Thalia's blood pumped a thousand miles per hour. Was this actually going where she thought it was going? Reyna's nose was resting against hers.

"Say it with me?" she asked and Thalia could barely muster the courage to nod, much less speak, but the glimmer of something Thalia suspected was beyond that of friendship glinted in Reyna. And looking into the eyes of the girl she trusted, she pushed the words to her lips and let them fill the air around her. Reyna's voice at the same moment.

"I'm Gay." they both whispered to each other, and Thalia felt a childlike grin spread across her face. Reyna laughed, actually laughed. A sight so rare that it still made Thalia feel like she was hearing it for the first time. It reminded her of church bells, ringing and echoing in her head.

"How does it feel to get out of that closet, Grace?" she teased and Thalia felt the smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Blinding, there's too much sun," she joked back and Reyna poked her playfully. Thalia smiled, shadows of a boy with blonde hair slowly leaving her mind, in the favor of the light that was her best friend. Her best friend who was oblivious to the fact she had almost kissed her.

Thalia was oblivious to the fact she'd almost done the same.