The Best of my Essays

Finding Trust in Trying Times

  I learned at a very young age not to expect much from others. When I was younger, much younger, I didn't actually understand why nobody seemed to be able to keep a promise (because a promise to a child is a very serious thing indeed). My seven year old brain couldn't quite figure out what I had done wrong to anybody else. In time (when I had reached the ripe old age of eight) I reached an epiphany; one that would drastically change the course of my life: people cannot be trusted.
I was so convinced of that fact that it became part of who I was. I was self-conscious, skeptical, paranoid even. I saw every person as a threat, and treated every situation like a test. I was often alone, and rarely thought of an alternative to it, seeing as how it was really all I'd ever done. I followed this routine until I reached high school. That was when my customary practice of being suspicious of everyone I met began to backfire. I was never happy; always alone. And that was when I reached yet another epiphany; everybody needs trust. I believe that trust is what holds us together.
I realized that never trusting anyone-- while achieving a certain level of invulnerability-- leaves you little alternative to loneliness. Always seeing the worst in people wasn't productive, so I decided then to change my life. I began to trust more, to invite more people into my life. Was it painful at times? Yes. But I find now that all the pain was worth having a life that is filled with relationships built on mutual trust.
When I was a freshman I met some of my greatest friends. Instead of seeing them as potential threats, I began to see them as unique and complex people with intricate lives and compelling stories. I realized that not only was the whole world not out to get me, I could actually belong somewhere. It was this revelation that also led to some of my toughest pain, and I did have a rough time adjusting to it. It seemed so overwhelming at times that I couldn't imagine getting through it. Just as I was about to give up on my new found belief in hope, something amazing happened. All of the people who were there for me-- the people I had trusted-- supported me and helped me through the worst. It was then that I fully understood the immense power in being able to trust.
Sometimes it is still difficult to trust people, especially when it's easier to just keep distance from people who might end up hurting you. Every relationship I've tried to sustain always ends with me never finding the strength to give the trust needed for any meaningful interaction. Simply the thought of somebody else having so much power over me gets me anxious enough to ignore everything they have done and worry about something they might do.
I believe the human race was not created to be isolated. I believe that human contact is the ultimate goal in any of our lives, and that the connections that we make with others helps defines us as individuals. I believe that trust is the epitome of human relationships. I believe in the small miracles of trust: babysitters, farmers, doctors. I believe that the trust that we give to each other is the foundation of our very existence. I believe that trust can sometimes be hard to find in trying times, but that finding it will make you all the more stronger.