DMs from a Dead Man.

Authors Introduction

❤️ ❤️❤️

The love I have for Prince is an abyss opening that no thing could fill. He was there to aid my pain while he didn't even know it. The strings to his guitar stitched a wound shut that I didn't know could be closed. He had a soundtrack to everything I was about to go through and everything I have been through. The lullabies he knew that'd sooth my crying spirit to sleep. The smile he could carve into my stoned face on my worst days. The future I dreamed that made tomorrow seem rewarding of all the yesterdays.

When I was four and I first saw Purple Rain it was love at first sight and as if I had seen this movie a million and a half times. I knew the lyrics and I oddly knew when to shield my eyes before my Grandma (A HUGE PRINCE FAN) could even remember to. "I can see it in your eyes. You like that man." She said to me. I WAS FOUR. FUCKING FOUR. How could she see into my mind? How could she tell me what I was feeling? How could she be right? I'm four and I could feel my old soul being purified in Lake Minnetonka. I could feel this red heart of passion turning purple. I NEVER stopped loving Prince from that day and then on. The last conversation I had with my Grandma before she unexpectantly died was about Prince. We had planned to watch Purple Rain that upcoming Saturday together and I was bursting at the seams. I missed Purple Rain that Saturday. I was at my Grandma's house sitting on her floor confused as my mom and the family made funeral arrangements. It took me five years to be able to ever watch Purple Rain again. I could go back to Prince but not Purple Rain. When I went back to Prince I vowed to see him in person. I vowed to somehow get his attention to thank him for the bond he gave me and my Grandma. I vowed to marry that man. It seems like it just wasn't in my cards. We had no interaction (doesn't mean he hasn't seen a tweet from me and just chose to not reply *shrugs*) I just never got to say what I wanted. I never got to pay him back all that I felt I owed him. I was so angry at Prince because I felt like God & him were trying to spite me. I had prayed for peace & tranquility the night before. My last tweet before my social media detox was to Prince.

How could a healthy man get the flu and die shortly after? How could he tweet so many people and never I? How could he die before the one show of his, I finally got tickets to arrive? How could he do this to me?! How could you die and not know I exist? I stopped cutting my life short because of you? You left me without even thinking me!!!! I can't grieve with my grandma over you because she left me and I can't grieve over my grandma because I never excepted death. Someone like Prince was immortal. Be honest we saw Whitney & Michael's coming a hundred miles down the tunnel. Prince's death? Not even on the radar.

Then I realized after being at my lowest & unhappiest. A voice in my head (not mine, not my Grandma's, not Prince's) voice told me right before I dozed off "Prince did not die to spite you. If you genuinely believe in heaven then you'll see him and your Grandma again. Death is a gift accepted at birth"

I don't want to rant and be emotional anymore. I'm writing this story/fan-fiction to give me a little closure. I'm doing this for stress relief. I'm doing this because I (like tons of other fans) never got to tell him the impact they had on him. If you had the chance to say what you wanted to someone who meant so much to you what would you say?

- @Maryland1996