Marshmallow Heart

Chapter 2- Love Sucks

The rest of the day was a blur. Edna and Pharaoh decided to bring me home instead, for some reason, but I was too mentally tired to think why. Oh me and my crazy conspiracies. My mind just won't shut up sometimes. But this time it did though. It seriously did. It shut up all the way to after I decide to sleep. And then, it started talking again. It started the explosion of emotional distress and hormonal imbalances. I kept asking myself things that I never thought I'd consider. Would he actually*italicized* text her? Contact her? Hah, yeah right! If it were a post, the common comments would probably be: "yeah right!" And "you wish!" I know it's stupid to think about it, but I still do. You can't just think this thing, then suddenly un-think it. It's un-unthincable... If that make any sense.

Well, only the people who've been stupid/crazy enough to fall in love would know this type of feeling. The feeling of someone *italicized--> actually* liking her is really something to mess with your brain. Up to the point when you're not able to sleep anymore. Until you become an introvert, inclined to only entertaining your own thoughts. It's what I've become ever since it happened. Ever since HE happened.

John. Yes, I know. You're already judging him by his averagely average name, and believe me, he is. The *average* guy who would initially have the looks of the kind of person that probably made the person who thought about love at first sight think about telling it to the whole teenage population, spreading it all the way over to the next generations, unintentionally making it known to the whole world, making foolish girls like me, the ones who dream every night about a guy who*most probably accidentally looked at her at an impossible distance across the cafeteria floor* think it was a pathetic phrase called "love at first sight"! And what else about him? I wouldn't say he was perfect, but he was the closest thing to it. He had nice soft brown hair, he kept his grades up in a fascinating way, considering he's always out practicing basketball every free time. Even during lunch. It makes him all sweaty at English. Well, given the citations, you could assume that love ruined my life, just like it ruined everyone. It makes you crazy, obsessive compulsive(if that's even a thing), and then suddenly, you start relating to all these "relatable quotes" they post on social media. I feel like I could be part of the lonely hearts club, except I've only been *in love* with one guy, and I feel like I'm already sick of it. Which would be really pathetic to other people who aren't like me. Popular, pretty in the way that make other people stare, not in the normal-but-beautiful-in-the-inside kind of way. When you grow up to be like that, it takes a hell of a lot more time for a person to ever notice you to begin with, then *actually* take time to look inside, and notice that I really am something else underneath my glasses and messy, frizzy curly hair. I'm something. I just know it. I'm more than a brown haired girl with glasses.

When I rant about my "simple" life problems to Pharaoh, he always cups my cheek and says, "Oh, Marjay," and sighs, then continuing with a "you're something to me."

I always try and chuckle at that part, trying to grasp the last of my strength, and mask my sadness. And why would I be sad, you say? It's because I always assume things, and it's hard to let go of the thought that Pharaoh might ever have a crush on me. But since the implications I'm scared of change this big. It's too much for me to lose my best friend for something I hate the most. Love.

Because love is like some irresistible treat we crave for, every minute, when you're on a diet. Like this song you're trying not to listen to. Like this same old perfume we always use, even if people tell us to try new things. We keep coming back to it, no matter how bad, no matter how far. It's because we can't get away without tripping over the one thing that keeps us crawling back to it. This one person, so special, so typical for you, that keeps you on your toes.

Hey guys!😊 I wanna know what you guys think of this story so far, written by a girl who's never been in a relationship!
~*~Sophie😺