By:Brady and Conner
I Hobo, but I don't actually live on the streets, wait, yeah I do. But I don't wear those ugly cut old clothes, oh yeah, I do. But theres no way I would ever beg for money, oh yeah I do that too. But other than that and a few more things, i'm just a normal guy living on the streets with a weird name, Loopy Gottapotty. My best friends name is loobert, loobert Van Hufflepuff. He can be so stupid, once he called 911 because he needed c.p.r. on his goldfish, Mr. Gagathon, who has already been dead for six months. And one other time, he said his turtle, Huffy Snugglebuns,was hibernating, but it was really a rock. See, STUPID!! At least he isn't as stupid as my x-girlfriend, Gaga-gaga... uh...uh... never mind I forgot, but her name was even funnier than our names. She was so stupid that she said her friend, Happy, was in a car accident...ON MARS, and never broke anything
in his body because of the gravity (which made no sense).
Some people say i'm a little stupid and what I say to them is "That is so... true." GANDOGGAF! Thats my x-girlfriends name! Anyway my house, I mean, my dumpster, is right across the street from a gym and there's a treadmill in the window. And every once in awhile there will be someone running on it and then accidentally gazing into my eyes. How would you like that, running running and then suddenly gazing into the eyes of a homeless man. I don't mind the term, "Homeless man" because its what I am, a smelly, gross, old, weird, homeless man. Hey, maybe thats why my girlfriend broke up with me(That is the reason).
Hey theres that other hobo that lives in the dumpster down the street by the "Disease Animal Pet Shop"(I always thought that was an odd name).She's really ugly and she said she has a weird toe nail that looks like a deformed Elvis Presley.And she has a deformed growth on her face, but you can barely I mean REALLY notice it! It looks like she has a pet iguana named Folac that whizzed on her face!!! Seriously what's up with that iguana? Bleeek!!!! Sorry, I just threw up! She use to be beautiful-but now she's a troll.
She use to be my girlfriend and roommate(thats right, we shared a dumpster). Then she threw me to the curb(literally) for the slightly cooler hobo, Gizzy McHarrybottom. Then for three whole months I would repeatedly say to myself "I hobo." I forgot what it means but it sounded good until I remembered what a hobo is, then I just farted and it was all better.
I better go talk to her. "Hey Mana-Man-Ma, wait what's your name again?"
I asked like a moron. "You know me as Alisia, but I legally changed it to Pretty-pants-sparkle-buns-fantastic-feet-glitter." "Well what's your last name?" I asked but never really wanted to know. "Caral."
Later on that night I wrote a letter to apologize for getting her name wrong, and it said-
"I am so sorry for the way I acted this evening, even though you have the weirdest name I can ever think of, I still think-------BAD of you! You are ugly and you smell like broccoli.
Yours truly, Loopy Gottapotty.
And Trump nuked them and they all died
THE END
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