Hi, I'm Jessie. I'm not popular or extra beatiful, I'm just me. Lots of people call me a freak or druggy, when I'm actually not. I guess I just apear that way. So many things are messed up in my life, I don't know what to do most of the time.
Entry 1
So, my mom is a drug addict, what’s new? I don't really know my dad... he's been in jail for the past 8 years. I was never abused, even though my mom was by my dad. I was too young to pay attention to it or know what was happening though. That’s why he's in jail, well, at least one reason.
That started when I was about 8 or 9, I'm 16 now. My mom doesn't really pay attention to me, its just the 100 dollars on the counter that has to last at least a week or two. I don't have a car I just walk where I need to go. My only friend is a homeless guy I met on the street one day. I usually talk to him about my problems and he tells me stories about his life. We eat dinner together every night because I bring it to him in exchange for him listening to me talk about the stupid people I deal with every day.
I go to Grubner High. This is where some of my problems are. It's a public school where there's no dress code, which can be good and bad. Good because I don't have to go buy uniforms or anything like that, and bad because of the stupid people that say I'm a crack head that gets abused. It's funny how incredibly familiar that sounds. You'd think that when your in high school people learn how to grow up and mind there own business. It's just too bad your wrong. There is always the group of teens that are up your butt every second starting rumors and bashing you every day. You know those days that you just want to go to sleep and never wake up? Some people would call that a nightmare, I call it a dream. I know I should be grateful that I'm not starving, homeless, or completely alone, but every day it seems to get harder and harder for me to be thankful for what I really don't have.
Entry 2
School is like an orphan's life. When it starts off it's fresh and new, but then nobody likes it and everybody hates it. Sad right? Well, I feel like that poor orphan right about now. Actually, I've felt like an orphan since I was little. See, I lived with my grandparents when I was little because I was an accident. My mom was 15 and my dad was 17 when my mom had me. They dropped me off at my grandma's house and left. I still don't know where they went, or why they didn't come back until I was 8. I guess they couldn't take care of me, oh wait, they still can't!
Before I left to live with my mom I was homeschooled, so I didn't really have many friends. I had one friend and his name was Alex. He got abused at home and I was the only one that knew. When I started living with my mom I still went see him every day. Then one day he didn't meet me at our secret hide out. I was so scared; so many things were running through my mind. A week went by and he never showed up. A few days later when my grandma was reading the paper she strangly threw it in the trash. I grabbed it when she wasn't looking, and what I saw broke my heart even more than my parents did. Him and his mom were beaten to death by his dad. They died that morning. I never forgave myself for not telling somebody, but he made me promise I wouldn't. He was so scared that his dad would do something horrible if somebody found out he was getting abused. So I promised him like any other true friend wouldn't tell a soul.
After he died, I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. He was the only one I trusted with my secrests and feelings and now he's gone. I never trusted anybody after that.
Entry 3
Today is Monday and I think I met my match. He's a new student here from Arkansas, and his name's Conner. Everybody kept staring at him then back at me. For them to glare at me is normal, nobody likes me. But I didn't see anything wrong with him. Then again, it's because he kind of looks like me. Not in the sense that we could be related, just the fact that his clothes are dark and faded, he needs a good hair cut, and he looks dark and depressed. I think we might get along, that is, if he'd talk to me. So tomorrow for lunch I guess I'll walk over to him and sit down at the same table.
