The Black Cat

Good luck?

I'm here. Again. At Royal Blue all girls school. And yet, im the only boy. Wait. No I'm not. Ayden is also transmale. He's my closet friend. He's really supportive and I have to admit... I do have a little crush on him. Don't tell him that though. I'm scared of his reaction. I hear him calling my name from down the hallway. His voice is quite deep. I can see his dark red and brown hair, bouncing up and down with every footstep. As he gets closer I notice his beautiful eyes. One brown. One blue. He has Heterochromia iridium (two different-colored eyes on an individual). People call him an alien. He gets bullied a lot for that. Sometimes he enjoys the laughs but most times he gets pissed. Ayden covers his blue eye with an eye patch. Today he is not wearing it.

"We have that meeting today." I remind him. He is very forgetful.

"FUCK! That's today!" Told you.

"It's okay. You won't get it rough. You was trying to defend me. No big deal."
When he saw me getting shouted at by those dicks in the fight, he tryed to help and ended up with a cut across his right cheek. I felt so bad. I still do.

My meeting is at 1:30pm. Some witnesses will be questioned first. Then the people who were there but didn't physically fight (Ayden is part of that) , then the physical fighters.

**
At this school I think only 1 teacher likes me. That's Miss Lark. She is my Design Teacher. She is very kind to everyone. You can tell her something and she won't tell a soul. She is so comforting. So yesterday I told her everything. I told her about how depressed I've been lately and how much I've been worrying about this meeting. Miss saw my wrists; the cuts, the scars. She kept me behind after class to talk to her. I was nervous. She sat me opposite herself. Miss Lark was always very pretty. Her light blue eyes remind me of the ocean. Small plastic roses hung from her ears and neck. Golden brown locks of hair fall effortlessly. She is amazing. She started to talk but the voices of fear and nerves were raging on in my head. I knew I couldn't will this battle. I never have. I never will.

"What's troubling you my dear?" She asked. Her voice is loud but soft.

"Nothing Miss. I'm fine. I'm just a wee bit stressed."

"Stress? You shouldn't be stressed at such a young age," That's what they all say.

"I know Miss but with the GCSE's and finding out who I am, I just can't take it anymore." I started to cry but she gave me a tight hug.

She whispered, "It will all be over soon." But with my luck, I know it won't.

I want to talk to her today too so that I can avoid the meeting. I wait behind after class and start talking about my cuts and scars.

"I haven't touched a blade since yesterday, Miss."

"Well done," I could tell that she was proud. "If you keep progressing, I might buy you a small present."

A small smile strikes my face. However, it slowly starts to fade. I don't care about the prize, I just want Miss Lark to be proud. But there is no chance. As soon as I progress, my depression worsens. I will try. For her.

I look up at the clock. It reads 1:23pm. I have about 5 minuets. I don't want to go. I hope that Miss Lark never ends this conversation.

"I've heard you have a meeting at 1:30. You better be on your way. You don't want to be late."

Urgh. Who told her? I don't want to go. Fuck. I'm not ready for this. As I stand up with my head drooping down, Miss Lark stops me.

"It will be okay. If you need anything, you know where I am." She smiled and I left.

As I'm walking down the hall, I see the meeting room. My heart beats faster after every footstep. My hands are trembling. My head pounding. I check my phone. 1:31pm. I am nervously waiting outside the room. I wait for about 5 minuets before someone opens the door from the inside. It is my Head of Year, Mr Shell. He is also my P.E teacher.

"Please come in Leila." I've always hated that name. It is my birth name. Only teachers (apart from Miss Lark) call me Leila.

"Please call me Zach." I said under my breath. Luckily, he didn't hear me.

As I enter the room, There is a large table. Around it are twelve chairs. Most of them are empty. At the head of the table is our Principle, Mrs Jocé. To her left sat Mr Shell and I was being gestured to sit on her right. I strolled over to the chair and took my seat.

"Now, Leila," Mrs Jocé begins to speak, " You had a fight with these girls."

She slides 3 photos of the girls in front of me. Under the table I start to scratch my wrists. I do this when I'm nervous or scared.

"Y- yeah. These are the girls." Damn. Now my nerves are showing.

Mr Shell is now looking directly at me, almost as if he is trying to burn my soul.

"How did this fight start?" He asks.

"W- well. Um," I can't do this. I feel sick.

"They came up to me and... and said, 'You will never be a boy. You are too weak and you are too fake. It's all an act.'. They just started to shout at me and it started to draw attention. I had had enough so I punched her." my distressed hand points to the group 'leader'.

I don't want to be here anymore. This is just going to get worse.

"And you thought that was the right thing to do? Why did you not just walk away?" Mrs Jocé's face turned into a slight frown.

"I was being crowded by a sea of people. Plus I didn't want to look weak. I didn't want them to think they were right." I'm going to be honest and say that this isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

They each have a note book with them. After everything I say, they write something down.

"Ok, Leila. How did Ayden get involved in this?" Asks Sir.

I don't want to answer. What if Ayden said something different. Then we are done for. I am done for.

"He saw the crowd and when he saw me, he tryed to defend me. And before you say anything, no. He did not physically attack anyone. He got attacked but he was only defending me with words." Sometimes I wonder if I'm too good of a friend for Ayden. But then again it is also a blessing.

"Leila, we are done here for now. You may be called back again for another meeting but we will let you know."

Wait, what? Mrs Jocé said that so calm. But it's over already? I got nervous for nothing. I put out my sweaty hand to shake both of theirs. I stand up and rush out with a smile.