My Little Hatefuck

Chapter 23 ♪ Abigail

"I shouldn't have told you." he slurred then struggled to get to his feet. She didn't bother to look at him, she didn't want to see the emotion on his face.

"I would've found out eventually, Christopher."

"Yeah, well, you went this long without knowing and then I tell you." Chris spat, shaking his head side to side in disappointment and anger. He looked at the mirror to see his reflection and even drunk he realized he looked kind of horrible at the moment, his eyelids were heavy and obviously revealed that he was messed up. His hair was a little tangled and he couldn't remember why, but the thought of him brushing his hair on his own right now was going to be impossible. Hell, he didn't even care.
Audrina sighed then looked up at the ceiling, biting her bottom lip as silence consumed them before he spoke again. "I'm going to bed."

Audrina didn't disagree with his decision, instead she sat there and watched him stumbled out of the bathroom to his bedroom. She sat still, waiting to hear the door shut before she even bothered to get up. Once he slammed the door, she stood up and walked down the hallway to clean up his mess in the living room. She turned off the music and the apartment was filled with silence, which wasn't bad, it was peaceful and this helped Audrina think more clearly.
She never thought Chris loved her, she didn't think that was why he didn't want to end this nor why he kept doing this. She just thought it was because he wanted sex and it was a rush of adrenaline when he was having sex with her, like he wasn't supposed to, like she did at times. But it all made sense to her now, the way he cared one minute then acted like he didn't the other. The way he kissed her, the way he touched her, etc. It was all because he was falling in love with her.
But she was very confused, she didn't love him did she? She didn't think she did, she didn't feel like she loved him. Audrina didn't want a relationship with him, maybe because she was afraid of what would happen once they did become a couple or did she just really didn't like him enough to be his girlfriend? She was unfortunately overwhelmed and torn about all of this, she had no idea what to do now. The best decision though was to leave without his knowledge, but even that felt wrong to her. Did she really want to hurt him? If he did love her and she just left without him knowing, surely that would hurt him? But could she really ruin her life just so he could be jubilant, no she couldn't and she didn't want to.
She's never been in love before, what did it feel like? How did you know? Audrina didn't know but of course she wouldn't, no one knew what love was until it happened to them personally.
She sat the whiskey on the counter of the kitchen and sighed, rubbing her forehead stressfully. What was she supposed to do now, should she stay, should she leave? She was absolutely torn between these two decisions, she was even debating if she should call Elizabeth to discuss this with her but she decided it would be best to leave Elizabeth clueless for a little while until Audrina figured things out for herself.
She needed to sleep on this, at least clear her mind until morning so she could actually talk to Chris about what he said when he is sober. So, Audrina wandered around the apartment; flipping off the light switches as she made her way to the guest bedroom.
Sleeping in the same bed as Chris was definitely not an option, not for now anyways.
She crawled into bed and closed her eyelids, exhaling a deep breath before falling into a deep slumber.

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