Chapter 1: It still hurts

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May 4, 2020

"Hey Kai, it's me, I know it has been a while since I've written you but things just haven't been the same ever since that day, I know you wouldn't want to see me this way because not even I like to look at myself this way now, I'm sure you'd be upset with me but I deserve it, I really do. You know, even as time goes on it still hurts so bad, I know all that I've said and the way I am now makes me seem weak but in the end, I've started to accept it, you know I've never been one to fight anything, even if it's hurting me. I'm going to end this here since I know that you don't like me rambling on about stuff like that and I still really don't know what to say really, I promise I'll try to write you again soon.

Thanks."

After I finish the entry I let out a sigh as I close the notebook I had written in and fall back onto my bed, the notebook slipping from my hands and hitting the floor with a small thud. As I hear the sound I look to the side, instantly grimacing as I end up seeing my appearance in the mirror on the other side of the room, my eyes are dull and seem lifeless, my hair unkempt from me ignoring its need to be brushed. I looked dead but it wasn't a surprise to me anymore, I've looked this way ever since that day and I've done nothing to try to change it.

"I guess I'll just rot away here."

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