With you
I am vivid
when we speak
fireworks of bold, lively colors surround me
as if I am suddenly so full of passion
unafraid to speak my thoughts
my confidence soars up to the sky
and I have never been more full of life.
Then tell me
why do I neglect such wonderful things?
I pushed you away
Is it too late now?
we are as far from the heavens
to the earth
and I can't reach you anymore
but I keep trying and trying
waiting and waiting
for old love.
I tell myself to think clearly
swiping furiously at tears
I'm in a daze
stuck between loving and leaving.
What if I lose you
then I realize I always wanted you?
How would I live
within the ghost of our love
if I know I'm the one who killed it?
You love me so surely
and so completely
and I want to love you in the same reverence you love me.
I want to bury myself inside my mind
and find the errant belief which keeps me
from loving you completely.
I want to know why I chase pain.
Without you
I am thoughtless
my motivation and purpose
slowly dissapears
I am more meticulous with my flaws
and I am empty.
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