without you

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With you

I am vivid

when we speak

fireworks of bold, lively colors surround me

as if I am suddenly so full of passion

unafraid to speak my thoughts

my confidence soars up to the sky

and I have never been more full of life. 

Then tell me 

why do I neglect such wonderful things?

I pushed you away

Is it too late now?

we are as far from the heavens

to the earth

and I can't reach you anymore

but I keep trying and trying

waiting and waiting

for old love. 

I tell myself to think clearly

swiping furiously at tears

I'm in a daze

stuck between loving and leaving. 

What if I lose you

then I realize I always wanted you?

How would I live 

within the ghost of our love 

if I know I'm the one who killed it?

You love me so surely 

and so completely 

and I want to love you in the same reverence you love me.

I want to bury myself inside my mind

and find the errant belief which keeps me 

from loving you completely.

I want to know why I chase pain.   

Without you

I am thoughtless

my motivation and purpose

slowly dissapears

I am more meticulous with my flaws

and I am empty. 





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