Take My Wild Heart {Book Two of the Blue Hearts Trilogy} (boyxboy)

Chapter 3: Thinking too much

Mikes POV

 Both Zayn and Liam were acting weird now, and by weird, I mean not telling me something. We arrive home and it starts to rain. Harder and harder the rain falls each hour. Thunder and Lightning follow the rain, sending flashes of light zooming through the house. Liam and I sit on the couch watching The Lion King. I lean against him with my arms wrapped around his neck. I jump whenever the thunder booms or the lightning strikes, Liam just giggles at me when I do. I feel bad for Zayn, he was always loving me with every ounce of him but I just sent him away, I shut him out. My phone rings loudly, without looking at it I answer, "Hello?" "How dare you, I told you no shit! You deliberately disobeyed me! Now I'm going to take something from you!" She screams. "Alyssa, I swear to God, you do not touch any person in my family! You have already destroyed my entire life! What the fúck else do you need?" I yell. "I need you!" The thunder booms outside and the lighting flashes, and I see her, standing outside my door. She screams and opens the glass door. I grab her and throw her against my wall. She shrieks and slams on the ground. "Are you gonna kill me? Are you finally going to avenge your parents deaths? Finally going to get your revenge?" She asks. I should, I should stab her in her hollow chest. I should shoot a bullet through her brain. For Liam, for my parents, for me. I won't give her that luxury. "Get out of my house you stone cold bitch before I kill your sorry ass." I say aloud. "Kill me! Kill me! Or everyone you love dies!" She shrieks. Out of nowhere she has Liam in a chokehold with a knife to his throat. I pick up the gun she dropped and aim for her forehead. I pull the trigger.<----------------------------------->I shoot up out of my bed, heavily breathing and violently shaking. "You okay?" Liam asks quietly. "Just another nightmare. I'm fine." Liam grabs my shoulder and asks "are you really?" I turn around and turn the small lamp on. "No, I'm really not fine. I'm actually far from fine, I have never had nightmares like these before. They aren't like the ones before. They're new and different every night. Each of them more awful than the last." I stand up and fix the picture frame with the picture of Liam, Zayn and I. "Normally I'd ask you about what happened but you don't need to re-live that." Liam says, he gets up and stands behind me, putting a hand on my naked shoulder. "I know but Liam, I need to sleep, I keep having these nightmares that just keep me awake. I want to be able to sleep and to sleep with you without waking up in a panic!" I say in a loud whisper. "Sweetie, I don't care that you wake me up, I don't care. All I care about is you being as safe as you possibly can." Liam says with his chin resting on my shoulder. I just puff out a breath. "How am I doing with that by the way? Am I doing okay?" He looks up at me smiling. "Yeah, you're doing real well Li." I feel a kiss on my neck from him and he traces a heart on my back as he kisses me. "Liam." I say aloud. "Yeah honey?" He asks. "What did I do to deserve you?" I turn around, "you don't deserve me...you deserve so much better." I hear him say. "You deserve Zayn." |________________________|In the morning I walk into the living room and I find Zayn asleep on the couch. I look at him and start to tear up. I made him leave right in this kitchen, right where I'm standing. Then he slowly gets up from the couch, "Hey Mike." He smiles. "Zayn." He gets up and comes into the kitchen. "Cereal okay?" I ask him. "Perfect. Hey can I talk to you about something?" Zayn asks me. I nod, taking the bowl out of the cabinet. "Since we're both together again, can we start over? Go on a date and such?" I was hoping he'd ask that question, "of course we can. Tonight at six?" I say. "Shitty dinner and a movie?" Zayn asks smiling. "Only always." Six comes much faster than I expected, soon enough Zayn was sitting in drivers seat, igniting the car. We drove to a restaurant, not even five minutes from the theatre. We walked in and were seated right away. "So, what have I missed?" Zayn asks as we sit down. "Liam got shot, and I've had nightmares every night, you?" Zayn shakes his head. "I meant the good, but I got kidnapped, got very sexually assaulted and had a tracker put in me." Zayn says. "How did she sexually assault you?" My fists grew tighter and tighter. "I don't want to talk about it. It's too much." "We need to get that tracker out. I know she's still out there and I know she'll find us." "We will tomorrow." Zayn says. "Zayn. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I shut you out and sent you away, I never ever should've let you go. Making you leave, I almost killed you." I tell him. I couldn't hold this back any longer, it was killing me. "I love you Mike, you don't have to apologize." Zayn says. "But I do. I don't deserve you Zayn. I love you." "You deserve great things Mike, I'm not great." Zayn says to me. "You're more than great. And I don't deserve you." Zayn gets irritated, "stop saying that! Stop putting yourself down like that Mike! You scare everyone when you put yourself lower than someone." Zayn says. "Well I can't help it!" I reply. "Then let me help you." And Zayn kisses me, just like that. His lips, as soft as ever. After the movie we went back home and we went into the basement, hoping no one would hear us. We dimmed the lights down and we moved around softly and silently. He pushes me against the wall, kissing my neck. My hands glide down his back like water, I grab the edge of the shirt and pull it up over his head. We walk over to the couch, I push him onto the couch and I get on my knees. I rest my elbows on the couch and unbuckle his belt, he unbuttons his pants and immediately his shaft is in my face. I grip onto it and kiss the tip of it. "Mike, wait, what about Liam, won't he get mad?" Zayn asks me quietly. "You were my boyfriend once too." I say. He stops talking and I continue on. "Oh god I missed this." |__________________|When I wake up I find myself, still, with Liam. Like usual his arm is around me, Holding me close to him, protecting me with all of him even when he's asleep. I feel a tear roll down my face, I have no idea what he'll say if I tell him about what happened last night. I can't hurt him anymore. I hate feeling for both of them,I hate doing this all over again, being shared by them, it's degrading. I see Liam flutter his eyes open, "morning." I say to him. "Morning baby." I give a light kiss on the lips. "How was your date with Zayn?" Liam asks. "It was fine" Liam sits up, I straddle myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck, "went to dinner and a movie, normal date nights." I say. "Would you do it again?" He asks rubbing my back. "Maybe, I don't know, maybe." "Okay enough chatter give me some sugar." ""Did you seriously just say 'give me some sugar? You're such a nerd." Liam says nothing. He puts a hand under my shirt and starts moving it around. I kiss his neck, biting little bits of his skin. His hands move down to my bum. "I'm feeling a little extra toda-"we were interrupted by a certain friend of mine, Alex. "Dear lord don't you guys get tired of having sex all the time? That's beyond the point, you're going to want to see this." I get up out of bed and put a pair of Liam's boxers on. "What do you think is going on?" Liam asks. "Alyssa had to have done something." I say. But I was wrong. Zayn was lying there on the cold tiles, jerking around. "Zayn!" I yell. I get on the ground and check and see if he's breathing, "Alex call 9-1-1! Tara get me gloves!" I say loudly. Tara sprints, gets gloves and brings them to me. Zayn's body stops jerking around and is completely still. I place my hands over his chest and start giving his chest compressions. After thirty compressions I gave two breaths, then more compressions. Zayn suddenly woke up and was gasping for air. "What the fuck happened?" I asked him as he was catching his breath. "I don't know? I feel like I blinked for one second and I woke up with you on top of me and me on the floor." Zayn said. "Okay, we called an ambulance. Has this happened before?" I ask. "Yes. I try to forget about it. See when Alyssa took me she would get angry if I didn't pay enough attention to her, or if I told her that she was crazy or a bitch or any of that, she would get physical. She caused too much trauma to my head, so now I pass out every once in awhile. You can call off the ambulance. I'm fine." "Zayn, why didn't you tell us this before? I almost just had a panic attack because of this!"  I say angrily. "Well sorry! I didn't know that we weren't keeping secrets any more!" Zayn shoots back. "It's not a secret Zayn! You could die from this!" Zayn slams his fist on the counter "maybe I want to die Mike! Maybe I don't want to be here anymore! Maybe you're not the only person who is begging everyone around him to let him die!" He has never yelled at me before. My eye water and my heart shatters. "Zayn, I'm trying to help you, but now, now I'm thinking that saving you from her, wasn't the best idea I've had." Before he could say anything I grab Liam and my keys and drive away feeling as sad, pissed off and generally depressed as ever. "Babe, where are we going?" Liam asks. "I'm trying to figure that out." I say. We get to a red light and I slam my fist against the wheel several times. "Mike... pull over and I'll drive so you don't get too frustrated." Liam says. I nod and pull the car over when the light turns green. I get out and switch with Liam. "I don't know what to fucking do Li. I just want to live a normal life. I want to be happy Li" I stop and look down "I want my parents back Liam."