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The young woman in a pristine nurse uniform sitting behind the table of the reception was already flashing me a smile as soon as she saw me walking down the hallway of the hospital. She spoke as soon as I placed one hand on the cluttered desk.

"Welcome to the Colli Monaldi hospital," she said, her smile growing wider. "Do you have an appointment?"

I nodded and gave my name to the receptionist.

It took her only a few seconds tapping away at the keyboard in front of her, before she looked up at me again. "Please take a seat and someone will be with you shortly."

My smile was undoubtedly fake, but the nurse didn't seem to notice nor care.

I took a seat and pulled my eyes from the slate grey floor. A small sigh of anxiety leaped out of my mouth as I thought about what is yet to come.

Trying to think about anything but my parents I took in my surroundings. This hallway had as much personality as the rest of the hospital. There was no openness, no space, nothing shone or had the smell of disinfectant. The light was too bright and the walls were a dull kind of grey. Above every door I'd passed there was a large plastic sign, dark with white lettering, no fancy fonts, just bold and uppercase.

My heart twisted and sunk with nerves as I sat in the hallway. I had asked myself several times if it really was a good idea to go through with my plan. Yet here I was, sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair, waiting for my name to be called.

Before I could change my mind and make a run for it a doctor came into sight.

"Miss Verde?" I stood up and made my way towards him. He smiled in the cold and distant way professionals do, an expression I could never relax around. Right now I needed a genuine face, preferably a smile, but if not I'd really rather he didn't fake it.

"Ciao, I'm Sophia." I shook his hand. "I'm here to see my parents' autopsy report." I said, just to be sure.

He just nodded and told me to follow him. "May I ask why you want to see your parents' autopsy report such a long time after their deaths?" He broke the silence.

The doctor's question caught me off guard. "Uhm, I just graduated, so I guess now was the best time to travel to Italy and fully process my parents' deaths. My grandmother never told me much about their deaths, so I wanted to go find it out for myself." I clarified.

He nodded in understanding. "I would recommend coming back here tomorrow and bringing a friend or relative if you haven't properly processed your parents deaths. This is not something you should take lightly."

I wasn't going to back out at the last minute. "I can assure you that I've thought about it for a long time. It's very important to me that I do this alone."

He didn't seem convinced, but still led me into his office. "Please take a seat. I'll get the files for you."

My stomach shifted uneasily as I watched his retreating form. The office was white, cold and boring, a lot like the doctor himself.

I noticed that the hands that I was hugging myself with were pinching into my skin. I released my hands but couldn't figure out what to do with them, so instead they clasped and unclasped each other as if in constant need of touch and reassurance. Maybe I should've brought Rachel to help me get through this, but I didn't want to involve her in this. Like I mentioned before, I needed to do this alone.

I shortly wondered how she was doing on her lunch date. Of course she would've managed to meet a hot Italian within a two hour span of being in Naples. How she always did it was beyond my knowledge though.

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