anorexic

Chapter 1; Day 1

//chapter 1\\

And it all began here.
Well not all of it
But it escalated
I picked up my phone, desperate for someone to talk to.
I instantly texted Taylor.
We began talking only a week ago and yet she was still so close to me.
I dropped it on her, someone no one else knew.
I was anorexic...
She began to tell me stories.
She used to make herself throw up, she used to have a feeling just like me.
That I wasn't good enough that I need to be skinnier.
But the difference is is that she was skinny... and I wasn't.
I just told her someone no one else knew, because well at that point I was eating less, but I was still eating... a decent amount I guess.
Nothing that would hurt me, but nothing that would make me healthier either.
That day, the day I told her, was what I call "the first day." That's why I needed to tell someone.
I only ate 200 calories that day, my least in a while, and I was proud.
But for the first time in a while I was hungry, so I ate 5 grapes which just made it worse.
I felt like I shouldn't have.
It made my stomach more hungry
thinking of food.
So I stopped eating, I stopped trying.
I began to skip lunch and breakfast, with a very small dinner, pretending that my stomach hurt.
Pretending that I just wanted to go to sleep due to a headache.
No one got worried...
but then again that was just the first day.
The first day of my hell.
The first day I ate less then 500 calories.
The first day I committed myself
Committed myself to this disease.
And sold my life away
For the price of food, in trade to be skinny.