Had to be Him

Water thicker than Blood

*Zara Black*

When you ask most people what area of their lives they value the most, the same response usually comes to mind; family. Family values have always been a deep-rooted instinctive commonality within society that typically comes from a fear of rejection. No one wants to end up alone and if you say otherwise, you're lying.

One can only assume, that you're born into a world with a loving family and with at least someone you can call your blood, but, lives are lost and so it seems human compassion too.  I'm not necessarily angry or bitter towards the world and the hand I've been dealt, it is what it is, however all I can say to that shitty deck of cards handed to me, is that water can be thicker than blood especially when that blood is mine. I often associate the word blood with my family but not in the way that most teenage girls should; thick red blood oozing out of victims as they lie wastefully before me.

Personally, I see my family as having more ice in their veins than anything else, cold and calculated, assessing the room every time we go anywhere and telling their kids "the harsh truth to this godforsaken world" we call our home. It's definitely something I see in myself sometimes but only momentarily before that warped sense of illusion is replaced with my own experiences and perspectives. Life is what you make of it but with that family blood running thick through my veins, it's hard to imagine what a mundane life of an adolescent schoolgirl would look like.

I'll take that cold glass of water over blood any day.

***

My trainers pound against the wet pavement in a rhythmic beat that seems to be the only thing that calms my rage. My fists start to tighten in anger as I remember why I'm out here running in the first place. It always feels like I'm constantly running away from my reality but when I started to actually focus all my emotions into going on daily runs, I started to get really good at it and it became my output; a coping mechanism to the horrors I've had to witness over the years.

I focus on my breathing as I feel my chest starting to contract in the cold, in and out, that, paired with the slap of my trainers begin to calm me down.

This sort of rage definitely aids in beating my personal best though as I slow down and check my watch to see that I had in fact just smashed my best time.

Sighing, I came to a halt and bent over to catch my breath as beads of water drip out of the blonde strands of hair that frame my face, and onto my cheeks. I look up at the dull streaks of grey above and close my eyes as the rain saturates my face. I find it soothing just to stand there and take it all in, almost imagining the droplets  cleansing me of all the horrific events I've witnessed and washing that all away down the drain next to me. A process of stripping me down to feel like a clean slate all over again, new to the world to be whatever and whoever I want to be I think as tears start to stream down to my lips.

I check the time on my watch again, this time to see how much time I have left before I have to go back home.

"Ah shit" I exclaim loudly.

I race back home to find my darling mother holding the door open and tapping her foot impatiently, waiting for me.  As soon as she sees me running into my driveway, she starts barking orders.

"Zara, get inside now. I am sick of you abusing our tolerance and pushing us to the limit." She scowled.

I brushed past her into our lobby, making my way towards the great marble staircase that leads up to my bedroom. 

"Yeah yeah Annalise, don't get your panties in a twist, I'm home now aren't I?" I made an audible sigh as I walk across our large lobby. 

I hear her hiss as if she had just been slapped and the echo of her footsteps on our marble floor as she follows after me.