A Toast, to Us

When Tomorrow Comes

It's been so long since I first met you,
Yet it's been such a short time.

I met you in the fall, when the thick autumn leaves gently fell off of the branches of a maple tree. I never once realized how much you'd mean to me.

Truth be told, I don't deserve you and your kind ways. In fact, it's almost strange how you'd stay at the side of someone as heartless as I.

Yet, there you were.

You were there during all the bad days I had, all of the days that I had thought of ending it all, but you stood by me, never once complaining about my childish actions.

And what did I do for you? Nothing. I was selfish and didn't try to find out what was happening in your life. I was never there to hold your hand when your day went wrong, or when your parents would yell at you for ridiculous reasons. I was never there.

So when the rumors began about us dating, I shot them down. I would never be caught dead having feelings for you, I'd tell myself. We're nothing more than friends, I'd say.

But now I see my mistakes. I rejected you in one of the cruelest ways possible, in front of multiple people. Yet you forgave me. You forgave someone that wasn't capable of your affections. You forgave me.

Now these last couple of months, I've grown more than fond of you. You're more than just my friend. I love you, but I've never let these words escape my lips for fear that you'd reject me just as I did you. I want to hold your hand, to cherish you properly, to show you that there is more to me than just the girl with a mouth too big.

But, it's too late now... Our days are counted, and you leave this summer, and it'll be someone else's turn to love you. These days that I've spent with you are ones that I would have much rather have spent as your partner, and not as the girl who wasn't able to reciprocate your feelings. And I can't help but to think to myself, all of the missed opportunities that I could have felt the warmth of your lips against mine.

So when tomorrow comes and I take a look at your face, the waves of regret will not fail to drag me away from shore and into their waters. When I see your smile, my heart will hurt once more, because it knows damn well that I'd rather lose myself than lose you.

When tomorrow comes, I will swallow my pride and stand by you for all of the times that I didn't. I will hold your hand, and I will love you until I can no longer remember my own name. Even if you've moved on to someone else, you will forever have a place in my heart.

I love you, but I'm too much of a coward to ever let you know.