Another future [Dangan Ronpa]

Shell [Komaeda Nagito]

  "You know you're the best person I can ever talk to about this, right? I've been your BESTEST friend for sooooo long, you wouldn't just...you know? So, if you'd listen to me, I would be super-duper grateful for the rest of my life! I know this may come out as such a shocking thing, because it's a super rare thing for a chick like me okay? But recently, I got my eyes on this very particularly ordinary boy, his name is Hinata-kun...Oh don't judge! I think he's good looking in his own ways. But I seem to run into this trouble...that's where I need you to help me. The problem is...I think Komaeda-kun has his eyes on him. They're like, together 24/7. I don't like that one bit, he's always cutting me off when I make my moves. I can't have anyone getting in my esteemed ways you know? - You're asking what's your task? God can't you be more patient? Kay, fine, what eves.

I want you to make sure Komaeda-kun is out of my way.

How? Are you seriously asking me that? Obviously win him over to your side so that he never interferes with me, EVER!

So, remember what I said, we're best friends. Now, you will help me out, right?"

If only you've never agreed to it in the first place.

All because your fake friend couldn't control her own hormones, you were dragged into something that started off like a small ball which eventually escalated to an eternally mess. You were trapped by your own actions, you've dug your own grave. It feels like you were standing on a crumbling cliff that will crack under your feet any moment. It was no escape route.

In the end, it's still your own fault to blame.

The recollection of you holding the bunny pen in your hand as you stared down at the textbook flashed in your brain. Your book was highlighted with different shades of neon hues, blue words and arrows scribbled all over the place as they pointed to the Arial font of the paper, accompanied by bits of doodles here and there. The pictorial sources that was printed on the educational item was now cluttered by your amateur drawings as you festooned the butterfly with mustaches and stars. Just as you let a small giggle, your eyes caught something else. You weren't sure why, but his name was scrawled in the corner.

'狛枝凪斗'

It was quite depressing. Certainly those names weren't written in the hope of affection, but rather in the hope of lies. As you stared at those unfamiliar words, you felt the pen slipped out of your grasp. Before you realised it, your hand was already trembling.

Oh, is this what guilt feels like?

Swallowing that lump that's clogged in your throat, you retrieved the pen from the floor and sat back up on the chair again. This time, other sounds started to fill you in. The teacher was talking, you could hear it. Other people's paper were flipping, their pens were writing, their legs were shaking. Your eyes were trailing from corners to corners till it landed on your true target, who was actually just a seat in front of you all along. Messy silver hair that resembled one of those marshmallows that lingered in the vast blue sky. You could see his head resting on his palm, and you continued to read and study. Not your textbook, but him. The teacher's unremarkable voice sounded again, and you caught on. You were now tasked to finish two questions before leaving for lunch break.

Returning your attention back to the absolutely uninteresting paper, you remembered you were doing mathematics. Those lousy linear equations refuse to settle properly in your brain, leaving you in utter confusion towards solving it. A sigh escaped your mouth right before your brain ticked. Blinking a few times, you gradually glanced upward at the stature in front of you, who seemed to be busy with writing at the moment. That's a sign that he understands how to do, right?

You took a deep breath before pushing yourself off your chair slightly, just enough to extend your arm in order to reach his back. You gulped again as the fast beating of hearts resonated in your ears, and you grew a little ashamed at how loud it was. Inching closer and closer, your finger finally poked the soft fabric of his uniform. Seeing how he immediately straightened his back, you were rest assured that you caught his attention. His head turned around, and that was the first time you met those greyish olive eyes that gave the impression of an indescribable mystery, one that was as hard to decipher as this math question in front of you. It wasn't an intense pair of eyes, but somehow you still felt nervous.

"Hey, Komaeda-kun...right?" You prayed your voice wasn't shaking like your hand was. "I'm sorry to disturb you. Is it alright if you can help me with this?"

With that, you pointed downwards on the questions that's sprawled over your desk. His irises followed your motion and finally noticed your intention. Unexpectedly, his lips curved into a full smile that only caused your heart to go faster. You knew that wasn't allowed, you knew you weren't supposed to be feeling anything. In the end, it's only going to hinder your original goal. You clenched your fist a tat, and swallowed back your own feelings before putting on the fabricated smile.

"I didn't think you'd know my name. (L/N)-san. And sure, if there's any way I can assist you, I'll gladly be of help."

His voice was very sweet and gentle.

"Thank you. You're a very kind person, Komaeda-kun." You wondered if you were lying. "I don't think I understand this part well. Can you explain to me?"

Studying your paper, he read through once more before confirming where to start his explanation. Pulling the distance closer between him and the table, you felt slightly intimidated by the action but controlled yourself. Once the explanation started, you were drowned in his voice. Time was no longer a matter that existed in your world of reality as you found yourself actually enjoying the thought of doing mathematics. The world is truly a mysterious place.

"...And that's about it. Do you catch that?" Another candy-sweet smile, so sweet that it stung you. "Well, I'm not the best explainer, I won't be surprised if you can't understand me. Since I naturally am bad at doing things."

You were ready to thank him, but was now taken aback by his words of pessimism. Is he...frequently this hard on himself? Either way, it's the best thing for you to say something reaffirming. Luck was on your side today.

"Oh no, I understand it perfectly fine. Matter of fact, you really helped me. I think you did a really amazing job, Komaeda-kun. I'm impressed! You're definitely way better than Ms. Monomi." You let out a goofy laughter, deeply embarrassed at yourself on the inside for having to diss your own teacher in the name of lies. And in the midst of your acting, you failed to catch the small details on red hues flushing on his face.

"You give me way too much credits, I don't deserve your praises at all." He returned the gesture and shifted his sight downwards once more, "Still, I think that kindness of yours is really wonderful-"

His words cut short suddenly to your confusion, and when you followed his eyes, you detected something that made you break on the inside. That name that was still scratched in your ugly handwriting was written clear as day, and his eyes were piercing right into it. The undeniable heat rose intensely through your cheeks, you were too stunned and bewildered to react. How could you possibly forget to clean it off? Despite the amount of thoughts that was flooding in your mind, not a single word can roll off your tongue. On the other hand, the blush seemed to have return to the male's cheeks as he left his lips slightly agape at the sight.

"Wow...I didn't think I'd be important enough to have my name written on someone's paper. Or perhaps this was done out of despise? That would sound more normal."

"N-no, it's not how it looks like. Don't think like that, Komaeda-kun. I would never look at you in that way, you're such a sweet person. If it helps you...you can take this 'writing of name' as a compliment." You reasoned out with another shy grin.

"I would love to take up on that offer. Sorry, I just have the tendency to look at things through a pessimistic lens, don't let someone like me bother you too much." He raised a hand from the bottom of the desk. "Komaeda Nagito. It is an honour to meet someone as bright as you."

Without another word, you gladly took his hand into your own, heart skipping from the contact of his smooth palm. "(L/N) (F/N). You flattered me-"

At that very moment, the school bell abruptly entered your conversation and interrupted you. The voice of the teacher called out to the whole room to hand in their final work, which your classmates reacted with the pushing of chairs. Papers in hand, they all walked over to give their work before making a leave. Cheerful chattering filled the atmosphere as you were left with your new friend. Komaeda turned around and took his paper before giving you another smile, which you once again, returned without a pause. At the instance, you caught a moving subject from the outside of your classroom, trying to peek inside. You looked out and came face to face with the boy that would crash the whole plan in seconds.

Hinata Hajime.

Almost on instinct, your eyes widened as you stood up precipitously. Voices that doesn't sound familiar was sounding inside your head. Screaming at you to do what your 'friend' told you to do, even though every single vein and system was resisting to listen, you still followed the command like a lost dog. You saw the brunet boy look at you, you saw it. And that's why you did it. That's why you rushed up to Komaeda and grabbed his arm, that's why you said what you said.

"Komaeda-kun. I really want to hang out with you, can we have lunch together?"

You couldn't even count how much remorse was contained in that line.

--

Ever since the day the plan was deployed, you haven't seen your 'friend' for the longest time. When you try to hit her up, she'll constantly use the excuse of hanging with (or what you call it – stalking) Hinata-kun, and telling you things like, 'Oh you wouldn't want me to waste your effort of separating the two, right?' You were caught in such a loose situation, and you did the only thing that you can do.

Continue learning about Komaeda.

He has a thing for pretty people and items, and absolutely disliked noisy places. But there's one thing that still confuses you to this day, and that was his utmost, extreme love for hope. He loved people who apparently 'has hope', which also included Hinata himself. In spite of the jealousy seed planted itself in your heart, you tried to conceal whenever Komaeda talks about Hinata. Which is to convince yourself that you would never feel towards anything towards the hope-loving boy.

'It's all for the plan.'

With that in mind, you pretended more and more. Ranging from hiding your emotion to just straight-out faking them. You fabricated your existence into one of a saint's, you became the sweetest, most positive and strongest person you've ever seen. Like they say, the more lies you create, the harder it will be to cover them up in the end. Ironically, it was all in the hope of you becoming better than Hinata. And that was all done knowing that in reality, you're just a lowly creature who's not capable of having a personality of their own. You're just a piece of garbage.

Seeing how the time you have with Komaeda seemed to extend day by day, you knew that your plan was slowly working. The way his eyes glow in the slightest way whenever you say something optimistic only added on to your success.

"(L/N)-san. You failed your math test?"

"Yeah I did." A nervous laughter before you delivered another line, "But this won't bring me down. I know I can do well, I just have to work hard for it! So you absolutely don't have to worry about me."

'What a shitty liar. I just want to die already. I can't do well in anything.' You clenched your fist under the table tightly and grinned at him. Right on the cue, the sparks could be observed in his irises as a light blush tainted his face. It was obvious that he can't fight back the smile on his face.

"That hope of yours is so beautiful. Maybe you do have the hope that can overcome any kind of despair!" Like a recorder, his crazy obsession with hope played again. Not only did that not encourage you, but instead poisoned you more.

"Oh that's just exaggerating, Komaeda-kun." Please stop.

"It's not, it's really gorgeous, and I think I'm in love with it."

Your heart nearly stopped beating. For both good and bad reason.

"I-I see." Don't stutter, not now. "By the way, Komaeda-kun. Can I ask you something...?"

"Anything." That never ceasing smile on his lips was only killing you more.

"Do you...like Hinata-kun?"

You gulped, the silence lingering in the air. There was an awkward pause, and you instantly regretted your decision.

"Hm...I admire Hinata-kun. He's remarkable. He doesn't know what his talent is, and yet he's able to push forward! Because of that, I'm sure that Hinata-kun's talent is something truly amazing. The hope I sense from him isn't like what I sense from the other Ultimates, but... Perhaps it's because his hope shines brighter than any of the other's. Maybe that's why I admire him so much. Well... I suppose, to put it simply, yeah, I do like Hinata-kun. I'm in love with his brightly shining hope. Ah, but someone like me has no right to even imagine myself in such an intimate relationship with him.

Why do you ask?"

Just listening to those words were enough to pump you full of despair. One that you are barely containing.

"I was just curious. How is your relationship with Hinata-kun...? If that's alright to ask..."

"Oh it's fine. We're kind off close friends, at least in my eyes." His smile was accompanied by a tint of sadness that flashed in his eyes. "But this past few weeks, we haven't been talking much. I'm always seeing him with that other girl. I wonder if he got tired of me."

It was working. It was working even if you didn't want it to.

"Komaeda-kun?" You stared right through him, and hoped that your lies won't surface, "I think close friends will trust each other no matter how far apart they are. Even if you don't hang out with them, you shouldn't have to feel that you're drifting apart. And if Hinata-kun makes you feel so insecure about yourself, then..."

I'm sorry.

"Then I don't think he's a good friend at all.

You should...take this chance and move on. Waiting for too long may result in terrible consequences. I really care about you a lot, Komaeda-kun. I want the best for you."

I wonder who would even forgive you.

You were the key witness to see the way his olive grey orbs dilated. And you hated yourself even more now, if that was remotely possible. His depressing smile formed again, and he glanced back into your eyes. You were trembling with fear and guilt, and you were betting your life on this moment not to break yet. There was a confusion mix of emotion swirling in him, you could tell there was a presence of both love and hate.

"In the end, it was your hope that overcome this problem that wasn't even yours, I'm really impressed."

God you wished you would disintegrate forever.

--

"What is the meaning of this...?" Your feet was heavy like anchor, deeply rooted to the ground.

"You're really going to make me repeat myself? I said, scram."

"You...You better explain this nonsense." Your voice was almost on edge of cracking.

"I told you, blind bag! I'm not into Hajime anymore. Fucking let it go, okay? And now let me leave."

"N-no...no! You can't be serious...W-why?"

"Why? Because he's boring and ordinary! I don't know! Stop pestering me about it, you're so goddamn annoying. Think whatever you want, but I'm completely done with that boy."

Your arms reached out without your consent and grabbed your friend by her shoulders. Your nails dug into her skin as she winced in pain.

"T-that's insane! You told me you...you..."

All of the sudden, you felt your world went black for a second. A loud slap resounded in the hallway as your left cheeks swelled with crimson. You were left with no time to register as the toxic voice of your friend screamed into your ears.

"Bitch! That fucking hurts! This is my life, my way. I decide what the fuck I want! Just because you're angry about you wasting your time on that disgusting Ultimate Lucky student or whatever doesn't mean I deserve your rage. It's your own fault for listening to me anyway, if you want to blame someone, blame yourself for being such a weak pathetic piece of shit. Maybe if you are smarter, you would see that I was clearly using you to get what I want.

And as a bonus for you for being such a fucking loser, I told Hajime about the whole deal of you faking your relationship with Komaeda before I dumped him. So have fun living with that for the rest of your life."

It was so wrong. Every word pouring out of her thick lipstick mouth was just so wrong. You shook as you saw her shadow leaving from the peripherals of your sight. It was all wrong. You're not angry about wasting time, you're angry about yourself for doing what you've done. You were angry because you already knew she was using you, but you just couldn't stand up for yourself. Now, the last foundation under your feet is finally crumbling. With one last push, you'll be falling into that eternally void you built for yourself.

As if the world was taunting you, the moment you fell onto the floor, you heard another set of footsteps approaching you from the back. Your head trembled in such a horrifying way as you tantalizingly turned around to face the thing that'll utterly destroy you.

There he was.

Not the same pair of eyes that held admiration and hope on the first day you met, but eyes that just bellowed, 'What a disgrace'.

You nearly vomited at yourself.

"This is such a shame. I can't believe how much faith I put into thinking that you'd be one to possess such bright hope. To only find out you've been faking it all along. Well, I guess it's partially my fault for actually having that belief. After all, that's just me being an idiotic trash anyway. And to have a trash like me looking down on you,

You really are the worst."

It was over.

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Oh I finally finished playing the game after so long! I've always wanted to write something for DR, so I wanted to give it a shot. I'm still an amateur, so I hope I'll be able to grasp the personality of the characters right T^T.

Thank you for reading!

This was done with the help of my lovely friend, Al. [<3]