great.

Prologue

Hi, my name is Brooky Standa. And in this book, well journal in particular, i'll tell you about how i completely fucked up my life. Starting from hurting myself both physically and mentally, and ending with hurting the people i care about.

It all started when I was invited to my best friends birthday party, Nicole, well ex best friend. We just started to grow apart after we graduated middle school, which was really hard because we were best friends since 2nd grade.

When she invited me i thought it was probably because she felt kind of bad about our situation, dont get me wrong i have a lot of friends beside her, but i guess its because we haven't talked in so long. But if people asked me why we weren't bff's anymore, my version would be so different from hers.

I mean if i were her i wouldn't want to tell everyone that i was spreading rumors and hateful comments about me! That would just make her look bad right? So she had to make up a story so that she could still have the title of most gorgeous innocent doll.

I dont get it. Everything was fine when we graduated, we hugged, we sang, we ate pizza, we even promised that we would be bff's forever. But when we got to the high school building, it felt awkward. It was like we didn't have anything to tell each other but we did.

I guess she felt what i was feeling because the next day she spent her whole day with a new kid. At first i thought that they were just normal friends but then when they started ditching me to do things together, i realized that i wasnt a really big part of her life anymore.

And i was fine with that. Until one day she joined the basketball team. Basketball was my thing. I played basketball since i was in 2nd grade and she has never even touched a ball! But guess where her long legs and beauty got her? She became the captain! The fucking captain! Just because she was beautiful!

At that point, the new girl that Nicole ditched me for started becoming friends with me. And we were really tight. I told her a lot of things about Nicole. Some were negative but most were positive. Two weeks later i came to school and Nicole and cassie, the new kid, were talking about me. But i didnt really give a shit because i knew that they would be sorry. Karma was coming to them. But im not going to be responsible for it.

Cassie and Nicole apparently made rumors that our basketball coach was taking drugs and cutting himself. Of course the news were taken to the parents and the parents took it to the school and the school had to make our coach take a urine test.

As for the cuts, those were real. But they weren't new. He did that when he was in high school, not long before, when he was dealing with some tough stuff. After the urine test were taken, all negative to all the types of drugs, Nicole and Cassie were embarrassed as shit.

They quit the basketball team and slowly became loners. I just stood and watch them eat lunch in the corner, saying "you deserve this bitches." In my mind.

Not long after, my seniors that were in the basketball team, got really pissed off because they were told that basketball practice was cut down from 3 times a week to 1 because mother fucking Nicole told her parents that she couldnt go home from practice becauseis she wasnt allowed to.

Complete bull. We could go home at any time we wanted!

Anyways, my seniors were all like, "lets just bully them. Teach them a little lesson to not be lil'bitches."
At first it was just a joke, saying that we would bully them, but then it escalated very quickly. And soon enough they were posting ugly pictures of Nicole and Cassie on their timelines or whatever.

Nicole transferred to another school two weeks later. She couldnt handle it maybe. Or because she realized that she was wrong and she couldnt fix it with her long legs this time.

The day Nicole left school, Cassie wrote a whole paragraph on her timeline of how Nicole was her best friend and about the times they shared together. They were only best friends for 2 months and a half. I was Nicoles best friend since 2nd fucking grade-_-

When the basketball team found out about Cassies stupid paragraph, they decided to comment a few stupid things on it like, "how come your not moving too Cassie?" Or "remember how you broke up with Jake? Whose the loser now?"

Jake's a senior and he's a part of the basketball team. He and Cassie went out. Ok i cant even say went out because they hardly ever talk. Only text. But she claimed that she loved him and she was in love. But it actually turned out that Jake was using her because a girl, Rhen, didn't admit that she liked him.

What he did was really wrong i know. But at least Jake didnt tell everyone about it whilst Cassie bragged on and on about how she broke up wih him. It was like,

Cassie : Hey jake?
Jake : hmm?
Cassie: your ex is really hot.
Jake : who?
Cassie: me.

And then she blocked him. Like she was sure that he would text her begging for her back. Of course he didnt, he continued playing his game then told us about it. We laughed our asses off.