Young Love

Breakup

n o t e: I wasn't planning to write this but after watching their last episode, I ended up writing this oneshot. Just because. Got too many feels. I don't want them to end yet but reality slapped me really hard. Huhuhu. Anyway, setting is their last episode. Enjoy, fellow bbyu fans.

***

Sungjae oppa is singing in front of me and when I heard the lyrics, my tears instantly fell.

"The title of this song are the words I want to say to you but I can't."

I thought "I love you" is the highest form of affection that a person can say but when he started to sing, I now know what he wants to say to me. Every words, every line in the song made me cry because I know that I can't do them anymore.

"Be by my side, stay next to me.

Don't let me, who holds your hand, go

If you go one step further,

I can go one step closer."

I don't want him to see me crying but because of the lyrics and how he's singing the song, these tears won't stop falling. But when he started walking towards me, I started sobbing.

"Just hug me.

Please hold me.

Don't say anything.

Run to me."

When those words came from his mouth, I stood up and hugged him. Crying on his shoulder, his hands on my back and his voice ringing in my ears made me feel so many emotions—sadness, pain, love and security. Being this close to him, I can hear his heartbeat and I know he could also feel mine.

If he only said those words earlier, I could've hugged him more. I could've held his hand more. I could've stayed by his side more. But now that this is our last time, all I could feel is regret because I don't have the chance to do those anymore.

Being with Sungjae was a wonderful adventure. I've learned many things and we also became closer. When I started this program, I thought I just need to act and finish it without getting attached to my partner. But as we film longer, something has changed. We grew closer, became dependent of each other, joking and laughing most of the times. I never thought I would feel this way.

After the shoot, we said our goodbye for the last time and my manager fetched me. I was quiet the whole trip and when I arrived at our dorm, my members were waiting for me and seeing them made me emotional again. When they saw me crying, they ran to me and hugged me.

"Is it hard to film your last episode?" Wendy unnie asked.

"You got too attached to him," Seulgi unnie added.

"I told you to be careful with your feelings. It's not easy to fall in love with someone who shares the same profession because of our fans," Irene unnie said and hearing those words made my heart ache.

"But unnie, did you really fall for him?" Yeri asked and their expressions scream curiosity.

I wiped my tears and calmed myself before answering them.

"I don't know. I'm just so sad because our virtual marriage has ended. We grew closer and ending it just like that..." My voice broke but I held off my tears. "He...he's very special to me but after that program, I don't think we can get close to each other anymore."