Hiyojime Saionata: A Day In The Life

What the fruitcake in the freezer?!!??!

Hiyojime Saionata was just a 100% totally completely and utterly normal schoolgirl... Yes, of course she was... Mhm.... 
....Except she had the head of a fetus girl and the body of some random guy who doesn't even exist. 

So anyway... That's not important.............. 

She woke up one morning and just suddenly screamed "SUCK MY GUMMY BEAR AND CALL ME CANDY!1!!!1!" Then her mum walked in and said "what?" Hiyojime was just like "Idk get out my cave or I'll sell you to a stock broker called Bill." So her mum left the room without another word.

About 3 hours and 17 minutes later, after furiously brushing her hair and deepthroating 26 packets of gummy bears, Hiyojime left her room and went downstairs. Her mum was gone. Hiyojime was just like "Oh shugarit. The bonbonch is gone, I'm gonna have to walk to the fridge and find some fnafing food by myself, I'M GOING TO DEATH!" 
So she walked up to the fridge, slowly opened the door and looked inside. Right then she let out a man's nutting scream. "WHAT THE HOLY FRIDGING MOTHERFRUITING SHERBETTY BALLS OF CHEESE IS THIS??!?!?!" There was nothing in the fridge. 

Hiyojime dropped to her knees and started full on crying like a banhim. But suddenly she got an idea. "I know. I'll check the freezer." (Yeah I know, she's a genius. She needs to become president like, please God!) 

So she walked over to the freezer, at every inhalation and exhalation she got an inch closer. Then she lifted her right hand and slowly reached over to the handle. Her fingerprints were left behind on the smooth, slightly moist plastic as her hand wound it's way around it. She took in another breath. This was it. This was the moment. Steadily, she evened out her breathing and pulled the door towards her. As the slightly corroded iron of the hinges gave a low screech and steam could be seen escaping through the ajar door, Hiyojime came to a sudden realisation. 

"WHAT THE FRUITCAKE IN THE FREEZER?!!??!" She yelled in utter shock as she discovered the truth about the freezer. 

Want to know the truth about the freezer as well? Well you'll have to find out next time because I can't be bothered writing any more about Hiyojime right now... 

(However, I'll probably start writing again really soon because I'm bored as fr e sh a voca do.)