Para Sa Hindi Maka-move On

PSHMMO (One-shot)

Author's Note: This has just popped out of my head. Haha. Enjoy. :)

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PSHMMO

Copyright © j_salem, 2016

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Hey. Can't move on?

Well, we tasted that same bitterness. 'Wag kang mag-alala, akala mo ikaw lang ang hindi pa maka-get over? Akala mo ikaw lang ang nahihirapang makalimot? Pwes, hindi ka nag-iisa. Marami sila.

Marami tayo.

Sino nga ba'ng nagpauso sa walang forever na 'yan? Ang sarap pumalakpak sa harap ng mukha niya. It's like an invented two-word prophecy destined to almost everyone who enter in a not-so-friendly relationship. Ang galing niya naman.

Pero siyempre, hindi tungkol sa kanya ang kadramahang ito. This is all about you, me, and well...

... that damn heartache.

So, how do I start?

I start by moving on, forgiving and forgetting. Yun ba yun? Gano'n ba kadaling gawin yun?

Of course it's not.

If you have been in love for the very first and longest time, of course it's not. If you feel loved in the most wonderful way, it's not. If you have inculcated in your mind that he would be your forever, it's never that easy. And if you believed that the fantasy of forever will become a reality between the two of you, surely it's not as easy as counting from one to ten or chanting the alphabet.

It takes time. Wow, time. Kailangan ba ng time frame? Kailangan bang i-set ang date kung kailan ka dapat naka-move on na? Gaano ba katagal? A decade? A year? A month? Days?

We can't tell, can we? Only time knows.

But I am certain that it won't take eternity, that's too long and impossible. Forever is just so impossible.

I am Sai. I have fallen in love, and will definitely fall out of love. You see, you're not actually a total loser when falling in love and getting hurt. Loving and getting hurt just show how brave you are to take the risk.

I took the risk and so I learned a lot of lessons. Yung lessons na hindi ko natutunan sa Genetics o Physics. The lessons that are far beyond what's there in school. They're different.

Why can't you move on? Sinabi niya bang "We both need space" o baka naman "It's not you, it's me" at "You deserve someone better" na hanggang ngayo'y iniisip mo pa rin kung bakit gano'n? Bakit siya yung problema? Bakit deserve mo ng iba? Bakit kailangan niyo ng space? Masyado bang malaki ang space na ino-occupy mo sa buhay niya kaya nasu-suffocate siya? May nagawa ka bang ikinasakal niya? O baka naman uso lang talaga ang ganoong mga gasgas na salita na ginagamit na excuse para maghiwalay na kayo?

If you know you haven't gone overboard to ruin that relationship, aba'y talagang mababaliw ka sa kakaisip kung bakit biglang gusto niya na ng "break". Kung alam mong wala ka namang nagawang mali, you deserve to have an acceptable excuse.

Siya lang ang nakakaalam na siya yung problema sa relasyon niyo, bakit hindi niya ipaliwanag sa'yo kung bakit? You deserve someone better, don't you deserve someone you love? Someone you want to be with? You both need space, bakit? Nagreklamo ka ba na masyado na niyang ini-invade ang space na hindi para sa kanya? Pinaramdam mo ba sa kanyang sumusobra na siya? Kung hnidi naman pala, aba, tangina. 'Wag siyang gano'n.

I wrote this because this is how I felt after all the bullshits that I have gone through just by loving him alone.

Hey you, jerk. Can you read this? Are you reading this? Well, I just want to tell you that your bestfriend whom-I-don't-even-know-ever-existed came over to my house one time and gave me that invitation. Ikakasal ka na pala. Too bad I was expecting for you to hand it to me personally. Dinig ko pinuntahan niyo yung mga lugar na nakalagay sa itinerary natin kuno na ako lang naman ang nag-isip at gumawa. Hanep ka rin e, alam mo yun? Yung mga pangarap na binuo ko para sa ating dalawa, bibigyang katuparan mo sa iba. Sana man lang tinanong mo muna ako kung may gusto pa akong idagdag o ibawas sa itinerary niyo 'di ba?