Say Something

Chapter 21

I attempted to smile genuinely as I approached the Gryffindor table and saw two yellow lilies waiting for me at my usual seat.

My Miraculous Melody,

I look forward to seeing you after Quidditch this morning. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are special.

Happy Valentine's Day,

Oliver

Hermione chuckled as I gawked at the note. I smiled, hoping she believed my fabricated excitement. As I sifted through her thoughts, I realized she had believed me, I was grateful. Hermione had been so concerned about me since Draco and I officially ended our relationship. But it was near impossible for me to escape the heartache I was feeling. Every time I looked at Draco I was reminded of the abrupt end to our relationship. He looked so distraught every day now.

As our baby continued to flourish I found myself missing Draco more. I contemplated giving up trying to be strong and begging him to forgive me. I wanted to be a family. I knew I wasn't alone in this pregnancy but no one else mattered when I couldn't have Draco. I often wondered if the baby would look like him. If it would have his eyes or smile, I shuddered as I stopped all thoughts about Draco. I risked bursting into tears if I thought about him too much.

Harry, Hermione and Ron were talking animatedly to each other as I put food onto my plate. Harry was watching my every move, he was beginning to edge closer to figuring out the truth. I feared telling him but I wanted to do it before I was too far into my pregnancy. But every time I tried to tell him, I found myself losing my nerve. Harry already had so much to deal with, this could easily send him over the edge.

I listened as my friends spoke and tried to stay engaged but I was far too distracted. My mind was being pulled in several different directions at once. Right now I found myself really craving Oliver's presence, whenever I was with him my mind felt completely at ease. He never mentioned Draco, he wasn't even anywhere in his thoughts. He only talked about my baby if I brought it up first, and only said things that he knew would make me happy. Draco had been exactly right, Oliver was completely dedicated to making me happy.

According to Draco, Oliver was my perfect match and why he had ended our relationship. And the more time I spent with Oliver, the more I realized that Draco was right. Oliver was everything I could have hoped a partner would be. He was so kindhearted and loyal, he was at my side as much as he possibly could be, even when he had other things to do. He was always so concerned about my wellbeing and never his own, he was so selfless. He was everything I could desire in a potential husband and father for my child.

But my heart truly longed for the complete opposite, Draco. Draco's life was dangerous and unstable; he could only worry about his life and his allegiance to the Death Eaters and what was expected from them. I completely understood that his life depended on following the Death Eaters and I wanted our child to know Draco someday so I had to accept what he needed to do to stay alive. My head began to spin as I remembered the pained look on Draco's face when he finally revealed his Dark Mark to me. He felt so ashamed of himself, he despised the Death Eaters. Tears began to well in my eyes as I shuddered at the memory.

I tried to only think about all the pleasant memories I had with Draco. How complete I felt in his arms, how only his touch could surge deep desire through my veins; I'd never felt anything like that before. During the entirety of our relationship I could hardly handle being apart for any period of time. It was crushing me to be away from him now. Even with all the secrets, unwise decisions and inherit danger, I couldn't stop loving Draco. As complicated as our relationship was, I only wanted him. I loved him more than I could ever love anyone else in the world. And Draco had done the most selfless thing I had ever known a person to do; he sacrificed his happiness to secure my own. He let me go to be with Oliver because he felt that's what would make me happiest; he couldn't have been more wrong but it brought tears to my eyes whenever I thought about his chivalry.