"Wake up, hun. Time to change your bandages."
Newt awoke to an unfamiliar voice. His eyelids fluttered open and he focused on the stranger's face. A young nurse with short red hair smiled at him. "I'm gonna check on your leg now, okay?"
Newt nodded at the redhead and closed his eyes, absentmindedly thinking of Thomas. His healing wound ached terribly. All he wanted to do was sleep.
"This is going to hurt a bit," she warned as she cut away the outer layers of gauze. The blonde mentally braced himself for the pain, but that wasn't enough. He clenched his jaw and tightly gripped the blanket when the nurse removed the final layer, the one actually in contact with his body. Hurt a bit, my ass... Newt thought to himself. He refused to look down at what was left of his leg as she carefully cleaned and bandaged it.
"How often do you have to do this?" Newt asked. The nurse seemed to perk up when she heard Newt's lovely accent.
"At least twice a day," she replied, pulling off her gloves. "My name's Paige, by the way. Just press that button if you need anything. Here's the TV remote. Your breakfast should be here soon. A specialist will come take measurements for a prosthetic either today or tomorrow," Paige smiled warmly at him.
"Okay, thanks," Newt sounded utterly disinterested and annoyed. He quickly fell back asleep, leaving the friendly nurse feeling slightly dejected.
~~~~~~~~
Newt had a bizarre dream as he slept undisturbed through the rest of the morning and into the afternoon.
He found himself in a stark white, empty room. No windows or doors. On the wall appeared a message, written in blood: AFTER A HURRICANE COMES A RAINBOW.
Newt backed away from the words. The lights went out. He felt warmth surround him, then heard the beating of a heart that wasn't his. The world became beautifully weightless. Then came the icy cold.
Nothing made sense anymore.
I'm so scared, Tommy... I hate this place...
Newt heard his own voice in the dream. An unseen figure embraced him in the darkness and kissed his cold lips.
Mouth to mouth. Skin on skin. Heat and movement and ecstasy.
Tommy...
~~~~~~~~
When Thomas came to visit Newt around two o'clock, he found the blonde sitting up in bed with reddened cheeks.
"Hey, Newt. You okay?"
Newt turned his head and saw the concern in Thomas's eyes. He realized how ridiculous he must look having just woken up from a disturbing wet dream.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Tommy. I had a weird dream, is all," Newt ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. He'd had random erotic dreams about Thomas in the past, but they never affected his body quite like this, and he could say without a doubt they didn't actually mean anything. Something about this particular dream felt different.
Thomas sat in the chair beside Newt's hospital bed. "You wanna talk about it?"
Newt shrugged, trying to forget about the last part of his dream and get the color to fade from his cheeks. "Nah. Not much to talk about. It was just really strange."
"Okay then, well, uh, do you feel any better than you did last night?"
"I feel a bit better, physically speaking..." Newt trailed off, not saying what was really on his mind.
"What about emotionally?" Thomas asked, shifting from the chair to the edge of Newt's bed.
"I'm... hell, I'm not really sure how well I'm coping with all this, Tommy. Thinking of how life's going to change 'cause of this... I just don't know," Newt's eyes filled with a dark sadness in that moment, something Thomas hated to see. He leaned in closer and stroked Newt's hair.
"You're not alone in this, Newt. My life's going to change, too, 'cause you're such an important part of it. You know that."
Even the sweetness and sincerity of Thomas's words couldn't stop the melancholy ache in Newt's chest. Words could only do so much to comfort a broken spirit trapped in a broken body.
"I know... I just..."
I just want you to hold me and kiss me, Tommy, he wanted to say.
"I just wanna go home." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth.
Thomas creased his brow. He knew the blonde wasn't telling him something. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
Yes. Hold me and tell me everything's gonna be okay. Kiss me like you did last night. Make me feel safe.
"No. I'll be alright." That was a complete lie. Newt desperately wanted to feel the comforting intimacy and love that Thomas gave him the night before. He wanted to get lost in the brunette's chocolate-colored eyes and forget about the world.
Thomas sensed an unspoken longing from his friend in that moment. He wrapped his arms around the blonde's shoulders and pulled him into a gentle embrace. "Are you sure there's nothing I could do? You know you can ask me for anything," Thomas whispered in Newt's ear.
Newt sighed and slipped his arms around Thomas, hugging him tightly. He wanted a kiss, and he knew Thomas would give it. He also knew he'd feel guilty and selfish asking for his best friend's affection the same way one would ask for any trivial favor.
"I'm fine, Tommy. Really. I don't want you to feel sorry for me or worry about me," Newt spoke softly.
"I'm gonna worry about you no matter how many times you say that, Newt."
"You buggin' idiot," Newt chuckled at Thomas's stubbornness. The brunette pulled back far enough to see the smile on Newt's face only to see that the smile didn't reach his eyes. Thomas rested a hand on Newt's shoulder and squeezed. "But seriously, what I said last night, about doing anything to help you get through this, I meant it. You just have to tell me what you need. Or want."
Newt saw the love and devotion in Thomas's eyes, not the slightest hint of impure intention present in his gaze. The beautiful blonde gave a genuine smile as he thought about how wonderful it felt when Thomas held him and kissed him. He wanted to tell the younger boy all these things but decided against it.
"Thanks, Tommy," Newt replied, hands lingering on Thomas's waist.
"Don't thank me. I know you would do the same for me," Thomas smiled and kissed Newt on the forehead, avoiding the bandage covering his stitches. The brunette briefly glanced at his wristwatch and frowned. "Shit, my break ended a couple minutes ago. I gotta go," he sighed.
Newt's smile faded when Thomas pulled away. He took a good look at Thomas's face and noticed the dark circles under his eyes.
"You need to sleep, Tommy. Promise me you'll go home and buggin' sleep after your shift ends."
"I will. I really need it," Thomas conceded, rubbing his tired eyes, "but it'll be hard to sleep knowing you're here. I can't wait 'til you can come home, Newt..."
The older boy felt pangs of loneliness and longing when Thomas left the room. He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing that Thomas could stay, help take his mind off the harsh reality of his new life as a below-knee amputee.
The more Newt thought about it, the more he felt that nothing would ever be the same, including himself.
~~~~~~~~
The first few days staying at the hospital, Newt tolerated the boredom without complaint, and he looked forward to seeing his best friend every day.
Thomas brought the blonde a hazelnut-flavored coffee each morning – The Glade's coffee tasted awful – and did his best to keep Newt company whenever possible. To Newt, Thomas's visits were always too short.
Watching TV and reading newspapers failed to keep Newt's mind occupied, so he spent most of his time thinking about all the things he would have to do differently now. The static monotony of his bedridden routine quickly ate away at his already dwindling positivity.
Newt tried to be thankful of the fact that his injuries hadn't been worse, but he still felt a horrible bitterness seeping into his soul, a contempt for existence. He always had a troubled look on his face when Thomas wasn't in the room.
~~~~~~~~
On the fourth morning of Newt's recovery, before Thomas arrived with his coffee, Paige and another young nurse started talking about him like he wasn't even in the room. They both thought Newt was still asleep.
"Wow, he's a cute one, huh?"
"Yeah. Have you heard his accent? It's gorgeous."
"You think he's taken?"
"Probably not. He hasn't had any visitors, other than Thomas."
"That's true. Maybe I--"
"Is this some kind of bloody sick joke to you people?" Newt's distinctive voice sharply ended their conversation, "I just had half my damn leg cut off and here you are wondering if I'm single? Well, I am, but don't get your hopes up. I'm not gonna be anyone's damn trophy boyfriend."
Newt looked at them with contemptuous disgust.
The nurses were speechless.
