Ulva

Chapter 7 - Control

It was surprising to Ceyla how hard it was to control her mind. She'd expected a bit of guided meditation that led to her having total control to trot along, free as a bird. She'd expected praise for her incredible skills and strength of mind. She'd expected to excel. It was proven quickly that that wasn't the case.

Magnar had started her off with a 'simple' exercise, to get herself in touch with the wolf energy inside her. His instructions were clear: imagine the wolf as a ball of light, building inside her until it exploded outwards, bringing on the change in form. According to Magnar, the easiest way to control a shift was to initiate it. She blacked out as a wolf and had no idea who she was, but this was less likely to happen to her if she could expect the wolf coming.

"Focus on that light, Ceyla."

What light? She could see a light in her mind's eye, but it clearly wasn't the right one since nothing was happening. Disappointed, she could feel her frustration growing.

"I suck at this," she huffed. Her tiredness was beginning to become apparent, as she'd been trying for over an hour, and she knew that Magnar hadn't expected it to take so long.

"Stop focussing on your irritation," was the stern reply. "Hold onto that image of the light, look at every detail, and make it grow."

Taking a deep, settling breath, she visualised the ball of light inside her once more.

The light she saw was a calm midnight blue. It seemed hazy in appearance, seemingly shrouded in a slight fog that settled only on the light. Through the wisps surrounding it, she could make out the uneven colouring – some areas were lighter, some were darker. It looked as though there might be a pattern, although she couldn't work out what it was. In her mind, the fog surrounding the light started to move away, curling off in neat swirls before dissipating into the area nearby. With each curling tendril that faded, the pattern became more pronounced. The overall dark blue was intersected with delicate lines of black, each line branching off and ending with either a perfectly formed spiral or beautiful light blue rose. As she gazed at it, the light seemed to get brighter, although it never hurt her eyes to look at it. Instead, it made her feel warm, comforted, safe.

A bee flew past Ceyla's ear, and the spell was broken.

Jarringly, she was flung back to herself, just a girl, sat outside a surprisingly large cottage by the sea. A week ago, she'd been human. Now, she was part wolf and had to learn to control it or she'd be a danger to the people that had tried to help her all this time. The thought made her feel bitter. She hadn't asked for this. Never in her life had she craved the life of an Ulva, and yet now she had it. All she'd wanted was to pass her exams and get off the island. Now she was probably trapped, unless she could learn to control herself.

"That was good, Ceyla," Magnar murmured reassuringly. "You're improving."

"I think I almost had it."

Magnar smiled. "I think you're right. Would you like to give it one more try?"

Feeling slightly less reluctant now that it felt like she was actually making progress, Ceyla nodded. She let her eyes close and looked again for the light. Once again, it was unclear, but she managed to make the fog drift away quicker than last time. She took in the details again. As well as the light blue roses, there were also leaves coming off, tipped in the same light blue as the roses but gradually fading into the black of the stems. Every so often, Ceyla could spot a thorn; they looked slightly menacing in comparison to the pretty shapes that accompanied them.

Again, the brightness increased, as did the feeling of comfort. Gradually, the warmth in her grew as she saw the light get brighter and brighter, illuminating her from the inside out and making her feel as though a spirit in her was awakening, joyful and excited to be set free.