I used to wish so badly that you would finally love me
That I would be good enough for you
That I would be perfect enough for you
I strived so hard to be that perfect daughter that you always bragged about,
That I ended up breaking myself
You never loved me
Not the way you should have
You never cared for me
Not the way I needed you too
Too many times was I neglected
Too many times did I cry because you couldn't even show up to visit me, because I wasnt worth your time
I wasn't even good enough of a reason for you to quit drugs
Me, your only child, taken out of her parents care because her parents didn't care enough for her
Do you know the problems I have inside?
Did you ever hear me cry myself to sleep at night?
Or how for the past 3 years I struggle with depression. Every. Single. Day.
How I cant let anyone in because I can't bear the thought of them hurting me like you did.
Your pathetic.
A dad who never loved his daughter how she always craved to be loved.
The man who she always wished to please, she'll never be good enough
You wonder why I have no friends
It's because of you
Or what about the 0% self esteem?
It's because of you
Never good enough
Never worth enough
Never.
As I'm crying while writing this I can't help but hate you.
I hate you for making me this way.
I hate you for breaking me.
I hate that I always tried to forgive you,
to love you unconditionally,
just for you to hurt me again.
I understand that your messed up
But you have to understand that I'm messed up too
A chile who didn't grow up with her parents
Who was torn away from her grandmother, the only person who made her feel worth anything
I always wanted the dad who would teach me how to ride a bike
Who would read me bedtime stories
Who would hold me tight when I cried
Who would love me unconditionally
But those weren't the cards I was dealt
I know you always wanted the perfect daughter
But those weren't the cards you were dealt
You'll only truly care about me when I'm gone, out of your life with my own kids that you'll never meet.
Maybe I'll find someone that will make me feel good enough
Who can put back together all the broken pieces that you made.
Maybe
