Always Watching

chapter 1|

Today was the day.
I thought to myself as I rolled over my bed and got up. I stretched but not too much since my body was hurting from the fight I got into last night on my way home.
See, im not your average teenage girl, all my life I was isolated from the world not by force but by my own choice.
I never liked the idea of going out and acting fake to get popular, I never liked faking emotions to get attention.
I wasn't always like this; when I was only 12 I lost the people who probably ment the world to me.
I still remember that day like it was yesterday, mom and dad we're going out for their 15th anniversary. My mom was gorgeous, long brown hair that reached her waist with flawless clean skin and beautiful full red lips. She was tall and elegant wearing the dress I picked out for her the day before. My dad was taller then mom, he was wearing a black tuxedo and has his hair gelled back he was really handsome.
We said our goodbyes and they left.
That night they didn't come home as they said they would be back by 11pm at the most, instead I got a phone call from the police. I was left in shock I couldn't believe what I was hearing, it took me 3 full months to process that they had a car accident and died. I was moved to live with my granny Maria. She lived a few streets down from us. After a month I went back to school and the only person I thought I could count on left me there to cry on my own. It turned out that she only went for my parents money. She used to spend every weekend with us and the good person my mom was, she made Ashley a room next to mine and brought her everything she needed. When I turned 13 it was heartbreaking to not have my parents with me as usual. Of course I had a cake and presents from Maria and i was greatful to have at least someone by my side,  It was just the two of us celebrating together. that night I made a promise to my self to not let anyone get close to me.
I isolated my self from everyone in school, I felt disgusted that all of my friends used me and left me at my weakest.

Now im 16 not achieved much so far, my grades are average, i got a boyfriend who doesn't give two shits about me but i still keep him around just fot fun. I feel as though im dead to everyone, im not living im surviving. Everyone ignores me, turns against me, gives up on me. I dont blame them though because i gave up on my self too, i gave up on happiness. My mind and soul is dark, I've got twisted thoughts swerving in my mind, i wanna kill someone and let their blood drip down from my fingertips as though they're the tears i wept over the last four years but then i wanna turn all the hate in society into love, to heal every broken soul's broken heart, to bring happiness to the sad unloved ones.

Today i decided to skip school so i went down to the beach; there weren't any people around because it waa the middle of November, i sat down and ran my fingers through the soft sand as the cold wind played with my hair and yet again i found myself getting lost im my thoughts; contemplating weather or not i have a purpose, if i should let go of everything or hold on to the little hope i got left somewhere deep down in my empty, broken heart.
After a while i stood up and walked up to the cliffs, looking down and wondering if i would die if i jumped into the crashing waves, i took some steps closer to the edge while i deeply inhaled the refreshing scent of the salty sea. 'Don't do it angel' i herd someone whisper in my ear, i looked around but couldn't see no one 'step back before you fall angel' again i herd this male voice whispering in my ear, stepping back i looked around frantically buth nothing 'stop looking for me, im in your head angel' i shook my head no trying to get rid of it but it would go away, i started running through the near by woods hoping to lose the voice when i tripped over some branch making me fall to the ground and hitting my head on some rock, soon dizziness took over my body before everything went black