Better Left Buried

1. Friday 5th August

"Not bad, Sarah."
Mrs Perry inclines her head as I sing the closing bars of the Bach, then lifts her hands from the piano keys and turns to face me. "A little wobbly in parts, especially around the adagio."
She pauses, waiting for my response.
"I'm sorry." I shift the weight on my feet. "I'm a bit tired today."
"Right." Mrs Perry gives me one of her searching looks."I can see that Sarah. And this is a challenging piece. Well within your capabilities, yes, but if you're going to be ready, you'll have to work much harder on it."
I nod, picking up the sheets from my music stand and putting them back into my bag. "I promise I'll practise more this week."
She smiles as she stands."remember those breathing exercises I showed you. And your posture, Sarah. You still need to focus on your posture." Mrs Perry places one hand on her belly and lifts her chin; instantly her whole body seems taller. "Okay." I bite the inside of my lip trying not to show I'm upset. Or how exhausted I really am.
It doesn't work. Mrs Perry walks over, taking both my hands in hers, and looks me full in the face. I get a faint smell of perfume, something light and floral.
"Sarah, I hope you don't feel I'm being too hard on you."
"I don't, I-"
"You're so talented and I know you can do this. But even with a voice as lovely as yours, you need to be well prepared. In a top level audition like this, they're looking for excellent technique as well as raw talent."
She squeezes my hands gently, the takes a step back to look at me in full view.
"Are you eating properly?"
I clear my throat. "Yes."
"You're not on a diet are you?"
"No Mrs Perry." I answer. At this time food is the last thing on my mind.
Mrs Perry asks me "so how are things at home?"
"Mums doing a lot better and I'm fine."
Mrs Perry sighs. "I know this is difficult for you Sarah so soon after..."
She doesn't say it. Thank god.
I can't bear the sympathy any longer, so I pull the money out of my purse and put it on top of the piano.
"I'll see you next week." I say and dash out of the room into the hallway.

I know there's nothing at home so I go into the corner shop on the way back. I Pick up four packs of sliced bread, three tins of baked beans , three apples and some cheese. And more butter. That's all mum eats now - buttered toast.
But she might have a cheese sandwich. Maybe an Apple if I cut one up.
I'm queuing at the till when I spot a girl with long blonde hair over by the fruit and veg laughing into her phone. Candas White.
"Oh god." I mutter under my breath. I haven't seen her since summer term and I don't want to see her now.
But it's too late. She's  spotted me.
"Hey, Sarah." Candas raises her hand and smiles. She says something into her phone, puts it in her bag and heads for my direction. "Hi, it's so good to see you." She says in her bright voice. "It's good to see you too." I say. "What are you doing?" She says. "Just stocking up the freezer Candas."
She twirled a piece of her hair round her finger figuring out what to say. I can't help but feel sorry for her. My brother died six weeks ago so I guess she didn't know what to say. As I hand my money over to the man at the counter I shout "bye" and go out the shop as quickly as possible.
As I'm half way to my house a scruffy man comes towards me. In blue jeans, black hoodie and black trainers. I drop my bag and I pick it up and he gives a deadly stare into my eyes as he walks past me. I pick up my bag and I walk as fast as I possibly can to mums house.