It's 4 am. I woke up a hour and a half ago and couldn't fall back to sleep. I don't feel tired at all. Which is strange because when this happens I just take one look at the clock then fall back asleep. So far I've watched YouTube and listened to my radio but nothing seems to help. All my usual rituals to help bring on sleep seem to have stopped working.
Why is that? Why is it that when ever we need something to work the most it doesn't? I feel like that happens more often then it should.
I can't figure out why I woke up tho. Like I always think it's the whole when you randomly wake up at night there's an 80% chance someone's staring at you. But like I said I usually fall right back to sleep. But tonight seems different. I don't think someone was staring at me tho. I may just be hungry.. Fuck...I'm so sleepy. But I can't fall back to sleep.
I know it takes 7 minutes to fall asleep and 25 minutes to be in a deep sleep (thank you Duffie for teaching me that so
I know how to time my naps) but I can seem to keep my eyes closed for more then 5 minutes before I need to roll over or lay my head differently.
I think one of the problems is...I didn't eat lunch. I mean at the time I wasn't hungry and now it's come back to bite me in the ass. School food is so gross tho...I can't eat the same thing every fucking day.
And tonight I thought I could sleep by myself without all my blankets and my childhood toy, the one I kept with me every night, thinking tonight is the night I don't need it anymore but I'm wrong. I still can't sleep without it.
This toy always makes me feel safe no matter where I am. I have it once again in my arms..now all I need is some food. Or maybe even just someone to hold me while I sleep..that would be nice. That always helps me sleep. But..there's no one here too.
I guess I'm on my own
