Cries Of War

chapter 2

Today is last day of training. 5 years of hard work will bear fruit today. My dad dream, my ambition to fight for what's right will be achieved today. With this I could probably try to join the army. And by the way I am turning 20 years old. And it's ten years since I last saw the people I love.
Life is full of expectations. When we surpass them and learn and adapt to expecting nothing we can find true happiness in even small things. My guruji used to tell me. Years in the gurukul were amazing. 5 years I stayed there. My guru taught me beautiful things. He used to tell me that fundamental education was not a right but a need for everybody. Apart from shelter,food,clothes and water one also needs education. I hear someone knocking at the door. I walk slowly and open it. It's ziya ma. She smiles at me. I smile back. Come in ziya ma I say. "Happy birthday" she tells me. I smile. "Thank you ziya ma" I tell her. "So today's your last day of training. " She tells me. I could understand the sadness in her tone. I know she was going to miss me and I know that I will miss her too. "Yes ziya ma" i tell her trying to sound casual. She smiles back at me and then she goes away. I decide to go down and have my athletics practise. Usually we are supposed to run twenty rounds. Slowly as we became more experienced, the target doubled. There are no limits in what you do. If you love something then you can do it forever."Yes pa" I said smiling.
I remember what my father told me. I start to jog and eventually pick up speed. I love to run. When I run I feel like I am in a different world. I feel so free and I feel myself. I don't have to worry about anything when I run. I just take a look a the scenery around me and take in deep breaths. Sometimes I feel like I am flying, soaring across the skies like a bird. Other times I feel like a cheetahs. You are what you feel you are. Everything is a play of your mind. If you thing you are beautiful then you are. If you thing you are ugly then no matter what you do you will feel the same. Unless you change that attitude. The gurukul taught me to always think good. Then only I will feel good. Only if you feel good about yourself you feel good about other people. I finish jogging and I decide to go have breakfast in the cafeteria. Amir joins in with me. "Happy birthday brother." He tells me. "You are turning what 20?" He asks me. I nod.
"Happy birthday son. We have a present for you" mama says. "What is it" I ask. " a peaceful life" she tells me. I smile. "You mean we will be safe. You me shameen and papa" I ask. She nods. "We are leaving the village" she tells me. My smile fades away. I feel broken into thousands of pieces. "The enemies will soon attack us. Our village doesn't belong to any country yet. Therefore conflicts will arise" she tells me sternly. We had to escape the cries of war.
I try to change the topic. "So.. what are you deciding of doing after the cAmp" I ask him. he shrugs. "I don't know. Start my own camp. Probably join the army." He says with pride. From having been five years with him, I could tell if amir would be an animal he would be a gorgeous lion. He has that pride inside him. He believes he can conquer any obstacle. That's one more thing I like about him. "Ok,brother I got to go" he tells me. I nod as a sign of approval. "Meet you in the evening ceremony" he tells me. I smile back at him. Today evening we will be rewarded for the five years of hard work. We will get a certificate to prove the world that we have gone through immense training. Then I could probably join the army. I finish eating my breakfast. Ziya ma had made something special for all of us since it was our last day. I decide to go thank her. I go inside the kitchen room where I see ziya ma and some others cutting vegetables and cooking for the lunch. She notices me and come towards me. I smile as a sign of greeting. "What is it Shakeer" she asks me with affection. "Nothing ziya ma" I say. "There is something right?" She asks me. "Shakeer is there something you want to tell me?" Mother asks. I gesture saying no, but there is something that I want to tell her but I can't." I can see the truth in your eyes. Don't hesitate. Half your problems will be gone when you tell it to me. Don't keep your problems to yourself." She tells me. I try to hide my tears and smile and turn behind. "Is there something wrong?" She tells me. I turn around and tears come from my eyes. Before I go to wipe them my mother runs to me and wipes it herself. She hugs me tightly and says " don't worry about anything. I am here for you. No problem is big when you have the courage to stand for yourself she tells me. I hug her back.
I haven't told anyone about my past. I knew I would breakdown into pieces and I was too afraid to show anyone that I cry. I haven't even told Ameer. I look at ziya ma. She has the same blue eyes as my mother. The same affectionate smile. I feel that up should tell ziya ma about it. Sadness broken up to who you trust reduces your burden. "Uts my past, ziya ma. It has been torturing me" I tell her. "What is it about your past" she asks me. I hold her hand gesturing her to sit down and take a deep breathe. On this day 10 years back I lost my family we were to escape from a village together but I was the only one who boarded the train. I still remember the last words my mother and father told me. They give me money in my hands and they wished me to be safe. I was hesitant to leave them. that was the only thing my father slapped me in my whole life his slap was so hard. then he kissed me on my forehead and wished me. The train arrived and I was the only one who could get in. My parents stayed back standing on the platform knowing their death was inevitable. I still remember the face of my sister Shakeer. She was like an angel fallen asleep unaware of what happened around her. My mother and father then turned back and left and the train loved forward into a tunnel of darkness. This day ten years back my heart stopped with time. It was my birthday, signifying the day I was born, but it was also the day I died from the inside. " silence followed the kitchen. I looked up at ziya ma who was trying to control her tears. Her raisin like eyes filled with tears and were red. She embraced me and said nothing more. She took out something from her pocket and gave me a chain similar to what she wore. I looked at her in surprise. "Take the necklace and wear it. Everytime it touches you chest you will be reminded that you are not alone. Your mother is still alive and she is in front of you. Anytime you feel lonely, touch the necklace and you will always feel my presence." She says. I look with admiration at ziya ma. My mouth opens out to say thank you. "Hush. Don't tell me thank you. Go get ready for your evening ceremony. Wear something neat and decent. " she tells me putting her hand over my mouth. I get up and decide to go. I reach my room and decide to sleep for sometime. I felt do contended that I closed my eyes and sleep welcomed me for the first time.
I wake up and see that the time is five already. Hear a knock and I open the door to see it's ziya ma. She gives me a pant and shirt and insists me to wear it. "Don't you dare say thank you or think of repaying me" she says. I smile and say "it's beautiful". She smiles back and goes. I wear the shirt and sees that it perfectly fits me. All this time I worried about a mother who was no more, but now I realize she is still with me in the form of ziya ma. I run down as I meet ammeer. He is smartly dressed. "Hey brother" he says waving at me. I smile back at him. We walk to the shamayana arranged by the faculty. We take our respective seats. The programme begins. " A very good evening to one and all present here. we have all gathered here for the prize distribution of the boys who have worked vigorously for the past five years in order to gain the certificates. they have all grown into young men who are capable to do anything in life. most of them will soon join the Army and might even establish their own camps. and today they will receive the prize for which they had worked for over the five years. that fruit of their hard work Will even nourish all of us. wishing all the boys a very prosperous future let the prize ceremony begin " said the lady . Her speech was followed by a thunder of applause. The whole evening went within the blink of an eye. We all enjoyed throughout the night and slept on at the morning. I woke up only at noon and started to pack my bags. I knew I had to leave soon so I found myself a lodge in the downtown. I emptied my room and went down the stairs leaving part of me behind and taking my experiences as memories. I saw ameer and hugged him. "We will meet soon brother" he told me. "Yes brother" I tell him off with a smile. I can see a tear swelling in his eye. I wave him a goodbye. I go to the canteen where I eat a cold porridge made obstacle uncooked vegetables. This would be the last dish I would eat from ziya ma. I gulp it down as it goes through my throat effortlessly. I then enter the kitchen and see ziya ma very sad. I walk to her and hug her. She starts to cry. I comfort her by deep inside my heart cries as I am departing from a motherhood second time in my life. "I will visit often" I tell her. "You should" she tells me. I then leave the campus and wave a final bye to ziya ma who accompanied me to the gate. I walk away from the camp on a trail downhill for a couple of miles. Then I walk some distance till I reach the nearby village. I catch an auto and reach the downtown within an hour. From there I walk to my lodge. The city is very different from the camp. The environment is filled with the sound of horns and screams. I finally reached my lodge and notice that there is a school for the disabled and mentally disturbed nearby. I feel a strong urge to go in but I reserve that for another day. I was now tired physically and mentally and decided to take a deep sleep. I open out my suitcase and take out the picture of my family and keep it on a desk near the bed. I take one final look at them and touch the necklace oh chats and fall into a peaceful sleep