Hazel's Goodbye: TFIOS: short novella.

hazel's goodbye

NOTE; THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LONG!

I've never really thought my life was useful. I could've just sat for hours and watched America's Next Top Model and call it a day. It didn't really matter to me but, it had mattered to my parents. My parents were so concerned of everything going on with me but, I don't think they did realise that I knew I was going to die. Like they didn't want to believe it. But, it was true. I had cancer, and one day I was going to die, and sitting on my couch would of made nothing no different. It was all going to be the same, except one day they were going to wake up and I wasn't going to be there.

It's not like I wanted to die, it was just the reason that I acknowledged everything happening. I knew there wasn't going to be a new beginning, and that when you have cancer things can take a wrong turn at anytime, even when you were lease excepting it. But why did that happen? How can someone wake up and just comprehend they only had six months to live?

it's not fair, but half the time life isn't fair. My life wasn't fair. I didn't ask for cancer. I had to be in and out of a hospital in the last four years because of cancer. I didn't have a real life. How could someone have a real life when they know there going to die? And they have to watch people drown inside because of it? Because you had cancer. I've watched people cry and people fall apart because I was going to die. I've felt like it was my fault for so long, but it wasn't. It wasn't anyone's fault. Cancer just wanted to live, so it chose me, and not everyone wins all the time. I don't win all the time. Cancer had won.

My mother and father stand beside me and mom runs her hand in my hair. It irritated me at first but, I know it some-what comforted her, so I didn't say anything. Even though it was silent, you could feel the sadness in the air. This was it.

"I am so proud of you." mom says, her voice quivers. "I want you to know that."

A tear runs down my face, and my dad had started to cry. Mom was trying to hold it back. She didn't want to cry in front of me.

I nod my head, and she adds on, "You've fought so hard. Maybe it's time you let go. I can't hold you back anymore."

She then rests her head on my lap. I hear her sobs. They are drownful. It kills me inside. I didn't want to see my mom cry, hear her cry. Everyone know knew this was goodbye. Tears fulfill my eyes, and I start to cry. I put my hand through her hair.

"It'll be okay mom." I say between breaths. "I'll always be here."

"We love you so much Hazel." My dad kisses the side of my head, while my mother still cries. But, she gets up rubbing her eyes, wiping the tears away.

"I know you will baby girl. I love you so much." my mother bends down and hugs me, her tight squeeze hurts. I've lost a lot of weight in the past couple months but, I don't care.

"I'll be okay. Just." I pause. "I'm scared."

"Don't be scared." my dad says, "I bet Augustus will be waiting for you."

I try to smile but a tear slips down my face, "I love you both."

Dad and mom, give me a final kiss on the cheek. My mom stops at the edge of the doorway and looks back, tears swell in her eyes. "Love you." she silently says, then disappears around the corner.

I feel like my heart has broken into a million pieces. Everything is over, it's over. My time has passed and done. I don't want to close my eyes because I know where I'll be going. I'll be gone. But, Augustus will see me. He probably is pain free. Living his life, waiting for me.

I'll be like that too. No more pain.

Maybe life hadn't gave me everything I wanted, and maybe I was too young to die. But, the world is not a wish-granting factory.

I close my eyes.

Everything goes white.

~~~~~~~

AUTHOURS NOTE; 

NOW THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LONG. JUST HAZEL PASSING AWAY, I'M HOPING TO HAVE A FULL BOOK WITH THE AFTERLIFE WITH AUGUSTUS & HAZEL <3

SORRY IF I MADE YOU CRY.

Hannah sky.