花樣年華 (Youth)

Pt 2 Serenity (yoonkook)

JUNGKOOK POV 7:30 pm
[Earlier the same day]

Why wasn't he answering his God damn phone?! I turned to the other members (Jimin & Taehyung) who were getting their makeup done. I could see Namjoon hyung holding in back tears. I paced back and forth trying not to show how I might burst out in tears at any moment. The atmosphere felt hurt but ominous. I couldn't hold it in any longer so I left to the bathroom to cry in the stall before coming out again to hug namjoon. I could tell he was holding his feelings  for us. I felt his warm tears on my shoulder but after a long time he lifted his head and wiped both of our faces. We gave each other a look without words and split ways. I couldn't even remember to ask him if he had tried contacting Suga. I decided not to disturb him again.
My chest felt heavy why wasn't anyone worrying about Yoongi? The staff were busy walking back and forth but no one seemed affected by Yoongi missing. I came up to Hoseok who was sitting on the couch. He seemed so out of it, he was just staring at the opposite side of the room. I had to tap him on the shoulder for him to realize I had sat next to him. I could see his eyes were red and before I could say anything he told me

"Yoongi wasn't feeling well,
they told us he has the day off."

I felt hurt that nobody had told me but couldn't help but hear the pain in Hyung's voice. I grabbed his hand from his side and held it as tight as I could. We stared at nothing together wondering if this pain would ever go away...

8:45pm
[After Jins memorial service]

All of us in the van went in silence. It was an open casket and Hoseok had to be taken out of the room because he had held on to Jin for too long and caused a scene. His sobs were uncontrollable. I saw Namjoon yell at the reporters to cut off the cameras. Jins family asked Hobi to leave and I just stood there choked up not be able to utter words and just stared at the situation. Instead Namjoon told us it was better if we all left together. And we did. I looked out the van's window with my headphones in but I had no music on. I couldn't look at them. I could hear Jimin and Taehyung still crying. I felt like I couldn't do anything for them. These last few days I realized I was useless in times of sadness.

Why Jin? Why him? Why...
Tears slid down my cheeks as I thought to myself.

"Why am I so useless"

I wanted to lean on someone but felt like a burden. Yoongi had never made me feel more helpless in my life. I needed him here with me how could he be so selfish how was it going to be when we got to our dorms. The room Yoongi shared with Jin would be empty tonight. My teary vision blurred the city lights as I waited for my endless thoughts to end.